Nat put down the food and looked at it with a worried expression.  "When I was still with the family that helped me get well after I was out of the hospital, I heard them talking.  I was still weak and had trouble with doing things.  My head hurt so bad still then.  My hair was cut off so the wound on my head could be bound best.  I looked terrible apparently.  Anyway I heard them talking that they wanted to keep me, but the father said they couldn't afford it.  They had four younger than me and a baby on the way.  They fought over it, so I moved out to the fire escape."

She explained softly.  There were women out there talking about how they got started, they were the kind of woman that men would pay for private time."  She explained.  "Some of them were put in an orphanage.  Men and women adopted them then put them to work.  One said she had been adopted to be basically a servant and so she ran away and ended up there.  One said they do the same for boys for working with no pay.   Others were adopted to be put in a workhouse by those that adopted them to get their pay.  I was scared about what would happen to me."  She looked up to Jenny.

"I heard all that over several days and a few weeks as I got stronger and helped around their house as I was more and more able.  I made a plan though.  I knew some of the boys on that street did okay.  They begged, which I didn't really want to do, but some of them did odd jobs.  I thought I could do that, but only the boys seemed to do it.  Some had little sisters, the tiny ones, but once those got older, someone seemed to take them away.  Then I knew why," she frowned.  "After listening to people around there talking."

"I got some clothing from the church boxes for homeless and put together a sack getting a few things that I could use and were not taken from my folks' shop, and a couple of small things of theirs to remember them.  And I left from our area and far enough away that others would not recognize me and I got to know some of the street boys and I learned how they made it.  They taught me how to pickpocket from the richer ones."  She admitted.  "But they also helped me learn where to stay in the winter and in the summer, how to find odd jobs." 

She paused.  "But I wasn't being honest about what I was.  I still am not.  Because I have been afraid that I would be taken away and taken to bad places.  I wanted to be safe and get my own earnings. "  She paused again.  "I am called Nat, always have been, but my full name is longer."  She was still afraid to tell anyone.  She didn't want to lie and she wanted to live as a girl again, but the fear was still strong, and it could be seen in her eyes and face as she continued.  After what she had seen happen to her mother and what she had heard from those in the street, it was a terror to her.

"I work hard and am a good person to hire no matter what I am.  I am just scared to tell anyone the truth."  She had not yet explained what it was that she wanted to say.  Likely it was a bit confusing without that last clue of the situation.  But she was still trying to figure out if she should and all the fears were tangled in there too.