Did the priest have no imperfections? He actually touched his hand after everything. He looked at his teary eyes and his own began to fall. He pulled back to cover his face as he cried and laughed painfully. "W-why are you sad, f-father? You have no reason.. to be sad for me. I have .. brought nothing but trouble to your door step. I am sure, you could have lived a long.. and happy life.. if I had never come into this place."

Gabriel pulled his hand back when Elijah pulled away. How he wanted to tell the man the truth. But that would put him in danger. If Elijah talked, it could have terrible consequences. And it might just create more tension. "You.. you can't help the way you feel. You mustn't feel bad.."

Elijah chuckled sadly. "That's just it though.. as you say. I can't help how I feel.. I feel shameful and terrible for how I feel. And I feel like my presence makes things worse and I cause more issues than anyone deserves. Especially you.."

"You're not causing me issues." Gabriel reassured him. It wasn't entirely true. "It's my vocation to help people."

Elijah looked at him grateful. "Are you certain? I feel like I am trouble but I would like nothing else to continue. I just.. felt guilty not letting you know.. I don't know why.. but I feared it would cause some .. intangible issues."

How he wished he could take Elijah into his arms. But he had made a promise he would keep his distance. Maybe he could help Elijah and still retain control and still avoid the need to jerk off while thinking of Elijah at night? "There is nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty for..."

Elijah looked at him with a sad smile. "you can't tell me I shouldn't be ashamed of thinking of you?" He said it out loud but it was clear as day so there was no need to beat around the bush.

Gabriel had long understood that this was about him. And still he was uncomfortable with it being said explicitly between them. "Mr. Crane... I... maybe should have kept my distance. I meant to check on you, to make sure you were alright when you were sick. It's my job to visit the sick. I'm sorry if I confused you." Yeah, it had been totally unintended.

Elijah rose his brow. "You are confused.. I think. I assure you, you didn't make me think you had any.. unnatural feelings for me. I was only confused in thinking you wanted to perhaps be my friend. I certainly would have liked that, but the. um.. incident before made me realize i was perhaps thinking I was wrong, though you said it was otherwise."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 'I know you did nothing to ask for this. This was all my... strange mind. I found you to be attractive and kind. And my mind took it too far. And you were the first in a long time I could speak about my.. issues. It was my fault, never yours."

Gabriel watched him, heart aching for him. "Mr. Crane... I wish I could be your friend..." he said, his voice betraying more longing than he wanted. "I just remembered... particular friendships are discouraged. Especially with those in our pastoral care. You must understand..." he resisted the urge to put his hand on Elijah's again. "It's for everyone's protection."