"Come along," she said to Dora, tugging at the reins gently and urging the horse to walk along. It startled her a little how fast it took for her to comply but they were soon walking side by side. She did her best not to look over to Lorn but she kept failing, finding herself distracted by him. She kept tracing the line of his jaw with her eyes, admiring the cleft in his chin, up to his lips, his nose, his icy blue gaze, just... him.

He was a handsome devil, she thought.

The idea of him kissing her came popping into her head and warmed her blood a little. Lord have mercy, she thought and forced her gaze to Dora more than once, occasionally making an effort to coo her praises for the mare, when really, she was thinking about him.

Lorn couldn't help but smile.  It was a beautiful day and he was walking with a beautiful woman.  He glanced over her again.  Was she looking back at him, he wondered.  He thought he had caught her a few times.  It made him smile all the more.  He thought about it as they peacefully walked on down the road. 

If she was interested in him, would it be so bad for him to be interested in her as well?  But he was her employer.  He reminded himself.  And the way he helped her out, she might feel she owes him something.  Would it be right to take advantage of that situation?  He had a very strong moral code and tried hard to live by it.  This was a puzzle indeed. What was the right thing to do. 

It was moments like this that he wished his parents were not so far away.  For Heidi, he wrote to his mother often with worries he had about how he was raising her.  In this situation though, he would love to have his father's wisdom to drill into for a solution.  He gave a sudden deep breath, not realizing he had done so, and knew he had to figure it out his own, though he would write his father.  It would take time to get a response and by then it might be too late, but it would feel good to write it down and send it to the one person he trusted. 

He had a feeling he knew what the answer would be though. "You already know what to do.  Follow your heart and your conscious, boy."  He could hear it in his head already in that gravel-sounding voice with the slow accent of their home, much like his own. 

He looked at Karen and tilted his head.  "You are doing quite well with her.  How does it feel?  Feeling relaxed with her?"  He asked continuing walking there beside her.

When they had gotten further away from the main part of his property, she said, “I’ve enjoyed me stay here. Ye have good people wit’ ye.” She wanted to hear his voice, not that the silence was uncomfortable between them. In fact, it seemed a companionable silence for the most part, but there was something about talking to him that made her feel happy.

“Me brother has a mount named Jenny. While she isn’t a horse, she is close enough to one that I’m comfortable around them. I just never rode before.” Her eyes moved to his face again and she swallowed. Lord, he was getting to her.

She continued to walk along side him and the mare while they talked. Finally, she just tilted her head at him. “Lorn, I…” she started and then stopped, feeling unsure of herself at the moment.

She had been fighting it, but now she felt the urge to confess her... not love, but the admiration of him. She not only enjoyed his company, but he made her feel again after being so numb. She had realized her mistake with Fred, but it was necessary that it happened. It made her slow down a little bit, and let herself heal. Lorn made her feel alive again in his company, and for that, she broke her silence. "Lorn, there is somethin' I need ta tell ye, but... I don't want ye to take it the wrong way." Her words were so very quiet that it was almost hard to hear. She stopped walking and instinctively tugged the reins and said, "Woah," like she had heard her brother do.

Karen took a deep breath and then let it out. "I admire ye, Lorn."

Lorn gave a smile and a nod.  "I'm glad to hear it.  Remember if you find you need anything or something needs fixing on your cottage, you let me know.  I want you to feel comfortable and safe with the twins."

He listened to Karen as she spoke of Jenny.  "That helps with learning to ride them and getting to meet the new horses you meet.  The more experience with them the less nervousness."  He replied.

As Karen began to talk so haltingly, Lorn looked over and then slowed to a stop when she did.  His features looking concerned with a frown as he thought she had a problem she needed him to help her with.  Then when she did finally get it through in a complete statement, he blinked.  His expressions not changing at first as he whirled the words around in his head.

He reached up to scratch his forehead with his index finger for a moment.  Then lowering his hand down to put his hand to rub over his chin as if in thought, he gave her a curious but somewhat almost hopeful gaze (though he was trying to hide that part).

"Well, I admire you too, Karen.  You have gone through a lot and have worked hard to keep going forward for yourself and the twins."  He said, not wanting to assume more than those words might mean.

Frustration welled up. “I… mean more,” she said then and finally just… was out with it. “I want ye to be more than me friend. I admire ye that way, Lorn.” Her face then went red and she turned away, quickly clearing her throat. “It isn’t wise for us ta be alone together all the time if ye don’t feel the same in regards to me. Like right now…” She turned back to him, her eyes big and searching.

“I’m not supposed to admire ye this way, but I do. Ye’re my employer,” she gave a humorless laugh. “And ye… ye’re just… wonderful… and… warm, and sweet. I watch ye with me bairns and… I don’t want ye to think I like ye just because ye hired me or anythin’ like that because I would admire ye whether ye had done so or not.” God, was she babbling?

Lorn listened there.  His expression the same as before then slowly became serious as what she was saying hit him.  Oh, and did it hit him.  There in the stomach, in the heart, in the brain last of all.  He slowly lowered his hand down by his side, as she finished.  It took a moment for him to figure out how to respond to her.

When he realized he was pausing too long and likely had scared her to what he was thinking after what she had admitted to him.  His eyes went to hers very seriously.  "You are my employee.  That is true and a very serious thing to consider.  Something, to be honest, that I have been thinking all too much often of late."

Another pause, before he continued.  Though then his lips slowly spread into a smile, as his eyes twinkled.  "Thinking of if I would be taking advantage of you with you being my employee and,"  he gave a sudden concerned frown and concerned expression all across his face, "you are just recently a widow with the little babies.  I've been a widower for a longer time, and Heidi is older.  Not to mention the mother does have a lot more emotional things to deal with along with the giving birth part of things."  He added.

"However, the way I have been thinking about you and day dreaming more than a mere employee should about you."  He reached up with a large rough hand to caress her cheek softly.  "I admire you in that way as well, just didn't want to take advantage of your situation and mind.  So, I haven't spoken or acted."

She listened to him with his similar concerns and she nodded in agreement. Her eyelids lowered some as she grew thoughtful. Karen was not smiling. She was about to reply to him when he started speaking again and found his hand touching her cheek... She let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding in. Her eyes closed and she swallowed heavily. "I didn't say anythin' until now because I needed time ta heal and..." she sighed, leaning into his touch, opening her eyes, and looking at him with those big browns. "And I have. I'll never forget Harold or stop lovin' him, but he's gone. The nightmares I have of his death come less often now."

She paused for a moment and then smiled at him, "I could always quit me job, ye know," she threatened but not seriously. "But then ye would have ta find someone else ta wash yer clothes and she just wouldn't be the same." Her eyes danced with amusement. She was having fun with him now. "What do ye think?"

"I would not want you to forget him."  He assured her after she spoke of not forgetting the first husband.  "I would want the twins to know him and hear about him.  I won't forget Cressida, nor let Heidi forget about her."  He paused.  There is something she needed to know about Heidi that he didn't share.  Friends knew Heidi was adopted.  Which was true when it came to Cressida.  Though the whole story was a bit more complicated.  If he was to get involved with Karen, he felt she should know.

The knowledge of the nightmares bothered him.  He hated she had to deal with that.  Concern showed in his features and his eyes.  "Anytime you need to talk about it, you know I am here to listen."  He spoke quietly looking into her brown eyes.

At the comment about her not working for him any longer, he gave a pretended think about it.  "Well...."  He teased as if saying it was an idea worth thinking about.  Then gave a more serious expression.  "I am more concerned about what people might say and how that would affect you.  I would not be the cause of pain or discomfort to you."  He assured her.  "As for me, we know men get fewer problems when it comes to things like that."

"However, we need to make it safe for you, all I know is I would like to see where this goes between us."  He pauses, "Though there is something you should know."  He indicated the road and motioned.  "It might be good to keep walking as we talk.  It is something shameful and I would do better explaining it not looking at your face as I speak of it."

She smiled when he said he didn't want her to forget and almost hugged him for it, but she stopped herself... Last time she rushed it, bad things happened. This time would be different, she vowed. She would let things bloom organically. At least... that was what she was telling herself as she gazed at the man who occupied her free time. Not that she had pushed anything before, only that she wasn't pushing now. She'd been bold to confess her feelings to him, but she'd also learned the hard way that sometimes one did have to live in the moment because life was a series of them.

"I know," she said, gazing right back into his blue ones when he spoke of listening to her talk about nightmares. "I think I told ye about it on the train... or didn't I?" she didn't remember.

"It was me own fault last time people started talkin'." She shook her head, "If they talk now, it'll be for the right reasons only." While she hungered for touch, she knew better than to leap into his arms willy nilly. Another valid reason for her to go on slow.

She nodded at his next words and started walking again, tugging the reins, "Come along."

He gave a bit of a shameful movement of his shoulders.  "It has been a while since the train now.  So, you might have, but I was more worried about your health and your need to rest and a job, so that part of it might just be slipping through my memories right now."  He admitted.

"But now," he gave her a look of fondness and concern.  "I am more focused on you and your life." 

At her mention of it be for the right reasons, he smiled all the brighter.  "Indeed.  And expect the rest of the staff to get their nose in it.  To be honest, the cook has already been trying to hint that I should go 'visit' you more often."  He chuckled. 

"She is a bit of a matchmaker, I believe."  She wanted him to be happy and thought Heidi needed a living mother with her, not just a memory.

As they walked, he finally spoke quietly but loud enough that she would hear him.  As he talked about it there was emotion and shame during the various parts of the story.

"You know Heidi is adopted."  He made it as a question, but more as a statement of a knowledge that most know or would have shared with Karen if he had not himself.  "That is true but not the whole truth.  Cressida, my late wife adopted Heidi, but I am the father."  He paused and took a brief brave moment to look over at Karen to see what expression that brought to the young woman's face.