Anne defending her father was admirable. It would earn her good standing in the everlasting before the Almighty. It didn't change the fact that Ben Ward had the child rearing skills of a kipper. Come to think of it, William Blacke's were not much improved beyond it.

"Anne, it takes alot of people to help raise kids proper, especially for someone doin' it alone like yer da."

Anne standing there on the brink of tears, holding herself, tugged at Lottie's breast. This is why she cared.

"So, as yer sort-of-mum, thats why I'm doin' this. What would ye like? Yer allowed ta want things. A new hat? Fresh ribbon. Another dress if ye get dirty. I'd fix it for ye."

Anne was grateful that Mrs. Blacke did not argue with her or further criticized her father. She nodded quietly, dropped her hand, and looked up shyly. "I... I don't know. I suppose... a new ribbon would be nice, Mrs. Blacke."

Her father wouldn't notice a new ribbon. Oh he would not like it if he knew... But would he know? When would he be home at all? Would he be angry with her for going over to the Blackes', or would he be grateful and would this feud end?

She frowned. "I'm sorry," she apologized for her hesitancy. "Please, I'm not ungrateful, Mrs. Blacke. I'm just... I'm not feeling so well..."

Lottie stopped fussing with the wardrobe and turned to face Anne. "Oh? What's wrong dear?" She asked. Anne standing there hug herself as a soothing action activated Lottie's caring instincts. Poorer families like hers often took more risks with food and drink that was spoiled or close to it, because they had no choice Then again, Anne was a young woman, so it could be that too.

Anne shook her head. She didn't want to burden Mrs. Blacke. She wanted to be nice and cheerful and make the kind woman feel good. But her head was foggy and her feelings were whirling around so fast she wasn't even sure what she was feeling. She simply couldn't hold up the act.

"I'm just really worried. About me dad... and Alice, and what's going to 'appen now... I'm sorry. I'm such bad company right now."

"It's alright. Everythin'll be alright." Lottie answered. She hoped she would believe her words herself. But the Wards were adrift as a family and Lottie was uncertain for they're future. Ben Ward could stay in the gaol, as far as she was concerned, for the pain he'd caused his family; Alice Ward, well, she'd made her bed and now had to lie in it. Anne might still be saved, to be raised and nurtured into a grown young woman. Maybe a nurse, or shopgirl, or ladies companion.

It would have been easier for Lottie if Anne had just been an orphan. Lottie would have taken her in to raise her as another daughter: surname, new Sunday dress and all - but that was not how life was working out, despite the older woman's wishes. The best she could do was provide maternal guidance. Unless Anne made that choice for herself.

[CW: reference to domestic violence; homophobic slur]

What would alright even mean? Anne frowned. "I don't think Eli-, Mr. Crane will let 'im go this time. I think 'e might 'ave to go before a magistrate." Now that she had started, her worries spilled out of her. She hugged herself tighter.

"And this man, Rose's old boss... 'e was sayin' things. I think... I worry that Alice's 'usband... well, I think 'e's cruel. I knew 'e wasn't nice. 'e makes 'er cry and shouts at 'er and all... But I think 'e's... hurtin' 'er. Beatin' 'er. But she won't say owt. She never..." Anne gasped and burst into tears again, a habit when she was around Mrs. Blacke, it seemed.

Crying, she continued: "She never tells me anythin' anymore. But she does share secrets with Lory. But not with me! And Lory's ruinin' 'er life at the Pony, and she doesn't listen to anyone. And I worry Alice is gonna 'ave to go back with Tobias. And she's miserable and sickly and I worry she's going to die. And she doesn't love 'er bairn and it isn't natural. And that man, 'e was sayin' things about Simon. I think 'e was a so- sodomite, but I don't really get it. And I think Elijah doesn't like us anymore!"

She caught a long, shaky breath.

The Wards truly were a fallen family. For all Ben's bluster about the evils of drink and the instance his family go to service every Sunday, they seemed bedevilled. A daughter of the family working in a brothel.. another trapped in a brutal marriage with no love for babe or betrothed, a son gone to the gallows who might have loved.. men. Lottie closed her eyes to stop the flow of thoughts about these poor people.

Breathed deeply as Anne poured out her soul, and just focused on hugging her. The girl was like a tiny fishing cockle trapped in a storm, each new drama was like a wave that swamped her little boat. Lottie had to do something. If Ben were held on remand, the girl would need a stable home life. Lottie stopped her hugging and pulled herself away. Grasping the girl's shoulder's firmly Lottie stared into those puffy, tear soaked eyes.

"Anne, 'ow would you like us.. the Blacke family to adopt ye proper like?" Lottie asked firmly. "You'd live with us full time. You can change yer name to Blacke if you want, formal like. Yer'd 'ave yer own job - keep yer own wages, to spend 'ow yer like, but we'd take care of ye. If things get bad."

Anne hugged Mrs. Blacke and cried in the comforting safety of her big, strong arms. And then Mrs. Blacke pulled away, took her by the shoulders, and made a proposal that made her world spin even more. She sniffed and brought up her hand to wipe her cheek with her sleeve.

"I... wish that was possible, Mrs. Blacke. I think I would be really happy if I live 'ere and was yer daughter." With no worries about food on the table, not all the household tasks on her shoulders alone, a loving mother, a father she didn't need to fear, and dear Kate always by her side. But... "But I 'ave a family. And me father would never allow it. And they need me. And I love them. I want to be yer daughter. But I also want me own family..."

She looked at Mrs. Blacke helplessly, worried that she had hurt the woman's feelings. Would Mrs. Blacke pull away from her? Would she close that wardrobe and regret ever even offering Anne anything? Would she send her away?

Lottie frowned and sighed. All Anne had to do was say yes. But Anne seemed piggishly determined to do the opposite. What sort of a life could she have sitting in the ruins of her family surrounded by battered sisters and father held at Her Majesties Pleasure? 

"But it is possible -" Lottie started to rebut the girl. In this age, there were no laws denying adoption, it was just a decision made by distant relatives or concerned neighbours, simple addition like a cookbook add 1 child to the family -

"I'm sorry, Anne. I'm asking too much of ye in the moment. Yer care fer others does ye great credit, but if ye don't care fer yerself, how much is left to give to others? Ye can't draw water from an empty jar. Please say ye'll think about it."

Anne looked at Mrs. Blacke sadly. The women's words struck a nerve. So often she did feel depleted, like she had no energy to go on or look after her family any longer. But she always kept going. On. And on. And on. She was tired.

"I'll think about it," she agreed quietly. Then she added: "I love me father, Mrs. Blacke. I know ye don't like 'im, but he's good. Overall." Except when he wasn't.