Sam stopped whittling at the wood and looked at Cerise, smiling as he spoke, "Well, good mornin beautiful. How are you feelin?" he put his knife back in the sheath on his hip and sat the wood down. "Sue stopped by with a pot of stew, should go great with your bread if you're hungry." He then crossed the room and sat down next to her, kissing the side of her head, "An don't worry about supper tonight. i got plans for that."

She tilted her head and gave a hard yawn behind her hand, the kind that caused a person to tear up and shudder. "I'm so tired," she murmured. Her arms stretched over her head as far as her sleeves would let her after that, even curling her toes with that one. She sniffed the air, able to smell the still hot soup that was brought over in pot. Her eyes then focused on him and she smiled sleepily at him. "It seems like I cannot sleep enough today," she said softly, finally standing slowly, giving another big stretch, hair mussed from it's braid. She looked rumpled and sleepy but she seemed in a good mood. She padded over to him and moved to give him an affectionate hug, sitting down so she could sit in his lap if he allowed it.

"Well, you need you rest." he gave no more reply than that, she hadn't believed him about being pregnant, so it would likely take a doctor for that now. Sam assisted her into his lap, holding her close and kissing her forehead again before stealing a brief kiss on the lips." after that he thought for a few moments before he sighed, and adjusted Cerise so he would look her in the eyes.

"Cerise, i have somethin i gotta say, an if you hate me for it I'll understand." he held her hand softly. It had been a long time since Sam had felt anything like fear, and now he was feeling it heavy as he spoke, "Before i came here...back in the states. I was not a good man, it could be argued i'm still not now. I was... well i was an outlaw. I robbed people, i robbed stage coaches and banks. I've umm..." he paused as if searching for something that would soften the blow, but there was no getting around what he had done, "I've killed people. A lot of people..." he stopped at that, still looking in her eyes, but it was hard to him to maintain. he had never felt shame for it before, but it was clear he did now.

She peered at him for a long moment, silent and still as a statue. Her mind seemed to be processing what he was telling her. She didn't know what to say or do. Her eyes lowered eventually. Cerise murmured then, "We all have our demons. What are you going to do from here?" She wasn't sure how to feel, it was not hard to fathom how he could, she had seen his temper in action for herself. She couldn't exactly be angry with him for omitting that truth when there were things she had yet to open up about as well. What he said next might determine what she chose to do in the future. "I don't like the thought of the blood on your hands, but... tell me your reasons. Start... from the beginning so I can understand."

He nodded his head, then seemed to get lost in thought for a bit, trying to figure out where he should start from. "Well, my mother died when i was born. dad never hit me or nothin, just...like he wasn't there. I was more room mate to be tolerated but not liked than son. Didn't matter much since he died when i was 15. i had been an was still workin on a ranch, but the owner was payin me half what he gave everyone else. couldn't afford to keep the house an land we had. I was facin bein one step away from a slave, losin everythin. Then i was approached by some of the other hands. John gave me an option, keep workin durin the day, steam some horses at night. get the money i needed to keep myself fed and maybe more. So i took it."

He hung his head for a moment before he continued, looking back up at her, "Stealin horses became robbin fold, robbin fold became stealin from stages, became stealin from banks. We had rules. never shoot women an children, never shoot anyone who don't try to shoot us first...but that don't matter now. The bloods on my hands all the same. I want better for you, an i know you still don't believe me about it, but i want better for our baby. I don't want this blood to stain anyone but me, so i plan to do all i can to earn money by right, give you the life you deserve without spillin any more."

She sat there for a long time, blinking. Her brows puckered some as she sat silently, listening the whole time. Her tongue felt dry. Cerise thought she could look at him, but it was hard to at the moment. She opened her mouth for a moment and expelled a trembling breath. It was as if her limbs had become tree like, there was a chance he would feel her slowly stiffen and she was breathing so shallow. She made a feeble attempt to speak, but words failed her. She hadn't been prepared to hear the words he spoke. With a heavy swallow, her brows lowering further in confusion.

She wasn't sure if she felt angry. She didn't... know how she felt, didn't understand any of it. Her thoughts ground to a halt and she sort of stood, not paying attention to anything anymore. She walked a few steps away, only drawing a breath once she had gained some distance from him. Her head was bent forward. "I see." she seemed to mumble, almost too low to hear. She turned to face him, keeping her eyes averted. "I think... i need to give myself a walk... Uh.." She felt her throat close a little and backed away. She forgot in that time that her feet were bare still, or that she was still rumpled with sleep. She had beenn ruddy but she was pale then, looking rather wan.

Sam lowered his head, this was about the reaction he had expected. was she afraid of him now? he wouldn't blame her if she was. there was a time not so long ago when he would have simply laughed and walked out, but thats not who he was anymore, he was responsible for the baby growing in her, he should have been honest from the start but he wasn't, and now he was paying for it.

He had his own difficulty looking at her, but he managed to do so even if she couldn't look at him, "I understand cerise... if you don't feel like walking though i can leave instead. its getting cold outside and you might get sick." With that he stood, moving slowly just incase she was afraid of him. He put on his duster and started toward the door. " I do love you..." he hesitated after his words, he had said it out of impulse without thinking that might not be what she wants to hear right now.

He collected himself and opened the front door, stepping out into the october air with a sadness he had not felt since, well ever really. he didn't think he could feel any worse than when the others forced him to leave them behind, but now he was.

She shook her head and seemed to hug herself. "I... won't be gone too long. I.. I just... need some air." Her voice was tight as she spoke, "Just... air..." She put a hand over her ribcage where the corset felt as though it squeezed so tightly now. She didn't make it to the door. Cerise hit the floor instead, it was as though the strength had drained out of her knees and her legs became like soft rubber. A walk would be a bad idea all around. She didn't want to be alone. He wasn't a monster in her eyes, had only ever treated her most tenderly after annoying her... but her thoughts were a jumble thanks to him.

He'd turned her world upside down. And now it was as if he had caused a rather rough quake which could very well create catastrophe. The thought of him no longer being there was tearing into her rather viciously and she wasn't sure she knew what to do. It was clear by the way she couldn't look at him that she was biting her lip so as not to ask him for help, but she finally looked up at him, her eyes wet, lips parted, cheeks wet. She didn't sob, to her credit, she cried quietly as she bit hard into her lip, lifting her chin. "I... need you," she choked out then.

Sam didn't hesitate, as soon as he heard her hit the floor he wheeled around quickly, and in a blink was by her side again. his hands went to her shoulders and he was already looking her up and down for any sign of injury. "Are you ok?" there was fear and worry in those pale blue eyes. When she looked up and he saw the tears in her eyes his heart nearly broke, he klnew this was his fault, and whats worse he knew it was because of what he had said. Sam placed a hand gently on her cheek, wiping away a streak of tears with his thumb. it took him a few seconds to speak, and when he did his voice was shaky

"And i need you. You are the only person I have ever met that has made me feel like i could be better than what I am. that there is more to life than blood and violence. So i won't go anywhere unless you want me to, I'll never leave you unless you send me away." he put his forehead against hers, wrapping his arms around her to hold her.

"How are you just... going to make it better though? You cannot, Samuel, it's not as simple as that." Her eyes were bigger than usual, sad and worried as she peered at the man. She wasn't afraid of him and what he could do to her, she was smart enough to know he wouldn't raise his hand to her. But what about others? She had seen his temper once. She had seen the way he made a woman piss her pants in fear when she called her a name she didn't even hear.