Turns out, getting run over by a yacht really hurt.

But what a story!

Oh, it was almost as exciting as the time he was chased out of a soiree by burly men with guns, or the time he (allegedly) set that fancy opium den on fire! Edwin thrashed about beneath the darkness of the water, having released the flotational device in the chaos of it all.

In the instant he felt something grab him, Edwin latched on. Was this even more exciting? No one had ever helped him escape from the sight of angered gunmen, that was for sure. He sputtered and coughed as he was pulled to the surface, clinging onto his savior for dear life.

“O, sweet siren!” Edwin exclaimed, only to be interrupted by a forceful cough. “Let these waves not- kghkh- still by beating heart,” another cough.

“To shore!”