Bert's cheeks puffed out in relief. He thought Delilah might have been driven by her body to pop out kin at all costs. Jesus.. all Bert had to do was look at his hapless colleague Constable Neil and his herd of pint-sized hooligans with a screeching mother-in-law in tow for a picture of domestic bliss. Throw in Bert's personal experiences with the toe rags of Teeside and children, together with women who rode bicycles, were to be avoided.

Yet a man's duty to was to be a husband and provider. Maybe one child, one good, responsible, upright child would be okay..

Bert looked at Delilah. What was she like with kids? She herself was beautiful.. would their child take after the mother or be as ugly as an old boot?