[Content warning: severe internalized homophobia]

Gabriel was on the floor of his study. Kneeling. Praying. Crying. His hands covered his face as if trying to keep out the thousands of thoughts that plagued him, but to no avail. He shouldn't feel this way. He should be worried for Elijah's soul, not feel jealous. But all he could see before his mind's eye was Gabriel gently taking Anthony's hand. It made his entire body ache with anger and longing. God help me. But as he looked towards his crucifix, towards the barely-clad man on it, all he could think of and see was Elijah, barely clad, and he cursed himself for such wicked thoughts. Had Anthony seen him like that? What had they done together? Gabriel covered his face again. No. No. He shouldn't.