[CW: child marriage]

It had only been a week since her wedding, but Alice was back in Whitby. She had been homesick all week, and though it made more sense to sell produce in Castleton or Goathland, Tobias had decided they'd go to Whitby to keep Alice from wailing, so that Alice could see her family. They had left very early that morning and had passed through the moors mostly in the dark, save for a small lantern suspended from the cart. It had been unpleasant for Alice, who was torn between dreading the terrible darkness and wondering why it hadn't just killed her when it could. But once they had arrived in Whitby, with the pleasant street lighting illuminating familiar streets, she had felt joyful - a painful joy, but joy.  

They had spent an hour with the family, before everyone had to get to work. Tobias had driven her and Anne over to St. Anne's Staith, close to the bridge, where farmer's wives tended to sell their goods straight off their carts. Alice had been given the task to sell last year's wheat, and fresh eggs, milk, and cheese, while Tobias had gone off handling business at the bank and buying several things - or to entertain himself, for all Alice knew and cared. 

Anne had kept her company for a while, and Alice had felt better than she had all week. But when her sister had to go home to prepare the laundry for Monday, Alice felt her spirit drop and the terrible sense of loneliness and not being up to the task that life had assigned to her crept in again. She wore a fine, long, blue skirt, a white shirt with frills, and blue bodice, as well as a simple yet elegant hat. Her clothes, her hair tied up at the back of her head, as well as the rounding of her tummy - accentuated by the waisted garments - indicated that she was truly a woman now. But Alice felt more like a girl than she had in years.

She picked up her old woolen shawl from the back of the cart and wrapped it around body, as if to hide herself and become a Whitby fishing girl again. Then she sat still, daydreamed, and waited for customers.

[[CW: references to sexual violence, exploitation.]]

She’d whittled her tavern johns down from 18 to 14. Funny thing: they were hard to lose once they decided they liked her … and there were a few loose screws that seemed to catch she hated them and wanted all the more for that.

One day. One day, soon, she’d be set as she’d ever be and … and do what? Run off to the moors and hope another widowed farmer took pity?

For a time, she had been a maid. And ‘more’. She’d made the best of a possible pregnancy and milked her employer’s precious son to throw some hush money her way. She’d told her family they had debts, which was true … but not the real reason they washed her hands of Lory.

Alice. She missed her so. The cynical part of her wished she’d set her targets higher than love … but she couldn’t blame her. It seemed to have been a blessing in disguise. Imagine only having to grit through one murderous bastard’s bed!

She’d been horrified when it was going down, but like every other horror … Lory had acclimated after some out of sight, out of mind. Lory took more turns tending the traps than at the market these days. She feared one of her ‘benefactors’ making a scene where it could get back to her loved ones. But, that was where Alice was … and she couldn’t bear wait longer.

“Alice!” Lory called over the crowd.

The start of a smile was on her face, but then she got closer and it fell immediately.

Alice did not look well.

Alice looked up when someone called her name. Lory. She had always liked Lory and yet often disliked her as well, especially back in school. Alice's teacher telling her parents she was smart and should stay in school, winning that Whitby spelling medal, and making it pupil teacher, had made her feel great, better than her siblings perhaps, and had made her feel like she was destined for greater things. Lory being smart and making it pupil teacher before her had always bothered her a little.

But look at us now. Alice had 'made it' up the social ladder. But through a marriage and her husband's money, not through her own talents. And Lory, well, she had lost her position as pupil teacher as well, and now she was just a common fishlass.

And again, Alice envied her.

She dropped her shawl, to expose her more elegant clothes. "Lory," she said, trying to sound cordial and cheerful. "It's lovely to see you."

Lory’s jaw dropped when she saw what Alice was wearing. Some of the girls on the street had similar quality clothing, but Lory avoided buying new clothes lest her family suspect.

Her pay took a hit for it.

“Oh my goodness,” she breathed out. “Your dress is lovely – let me see it!”

The new accent was … strange out of Alice’s mouth, but to see her looking well was such a relief. Maybe her life wasn’t so bad. Maybe this was the path.

Lory was impressed. Perhaps if Lory believed her new life was great, she'd actually feel happy.

She put the shawl away and climbed down from the cart she had been sitting on. She tried to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. Instead, she stared out over the water as her cousin observed her dress. She wanted Lory to envy her for her new life. And yet it appalled her.

She looked back at the other girl. "Aye, it's the prettiest thing I've ever worn," she said, trying once again to sound cheerful. "You look nice too."

There was nothing new about Lory.

Wow! She was so upper-class now!

Her eyes landed on Alice’s stomach, and her heart lurched into her throat. She’d kill Noah. She would.

Then she let out a laugh in hopes to disguise that slip of horror.

“Look at you! You’re a queen, now.”

The smile fell when Alice complimented her experience, with that same shocked, overwhelmed expression she had had when a pupil once dropped a bucket of chum on her.

It was just pleasantries, but it was also the only thing that mattered about Lory these days.

“Thanks,” she squeaked out.

She looked at her cousin a little dazed, as if it took her time to register the words. Then she tried a smile again. "Thank you. I feel like one," she lied. "We 'ave a servant."

She already disliked Jenny.

She kind of hated that, but she was sure Alice was kind and understanding to her servants. She knew what it was like to struggle.

“Oh … wow!” she said, politely. “What’s she like?”

Incredibly loyal and obedient to Tobias, that was what she was like.

"Oh she's nice," Alice said lightly. She hoped Lory would go away soon. She felt tired.

"What were you up to, anyway?"

She looked relieved for that question.

“I heard you were in town, Alice. I came to see you. We’ve all missed you so much.”