"You don't need to thank me. I am happy to do it." Elijah smiled as he stepped outside with Simon. He shivered at the cold and hugged it close as he rubbed his gloved hands together. "Well.. Let's walk. We don't need to talk. I think just a simple stroll that doesn't require thinking is nice, don't you?"

"Yeah..." said Simon, and he walked quietly for a while, but then ended up doing the opposite. "I do know what it's like, actually... that feeling of not being able to save someone. I was up because what you said had me thinking of Tom."

Elijah looked at him and frowned. "I am sorry. I guess I hadn't considered that. I still don't know of the details about what happened. " He hung his head shamefully.

[Content warning: Account of someone drowning]

It was easier to walk while talking, his hands dug deep into his pockets.

"It should 'ave been me. We was goin' out to sea with me uncle and cousins. They had t' bigger boat and I was going to go with them to help. But I'd been talkin' back in t' morning and father told me to stay on the boat with him, so 'e could keep an eye on me, and made Tom go on the boat with me uncle. I think 'e's regretted that ever since." He walked without paying attention to where they were going. The details that had tormented him since he had tried to go to sleep were all there in front of him now.

"The wind turned very suddenly when we were out on sea and got stronger. Quite a lot of boats got into trouble. When it comes in from t' north the sea gets rough. And it's especially enterin' t' harbour that's difficult. The waves get so fierce closer to shore. We were turnin' around to go back, and they were ahead of us, but they was havin trouble takin' down their sail. They were close to the harbour when suddenly there was a tall wave and the boat got smashed against t' pier." He shivered. He tried not to remember, usually, but the horrifying image, and the way his stomach had flipped, could still be so real when he thought back of it. "T' lifeboat was out and they managed to pull me cousin out of t' water... He had floated into t' harbour. But we couldn't see me other cousin anymore, and me uncle soon disappeared. We saw Tom struggling near the pier, and we rowed as fast as we could to reach 'im, but we were struggling to keep our own boat from capsizing. I never rowed that hard... 'E kept disappearing under the waves and coming up. Disappearing and comin' back up, and we was trying to reach there with all our might. And then another wave washed over him and he was gone..."

Simon stopped walking and shivered. "His body was t' last to wash ashore... on the other side of Sandsend, a few days after. We recognized him by his clothes..."

Elijah stared at him as he heard the story. "I.. I am so sorry. That is certainly something hard to bare. It wasn't either of your fault though. It was just a bad chance that the storm came in and that he was lost. I know if either of you had been closer you'd have done all you could to save him. He shivered against the cold but was more concerned with the terrible feeling inside.

"I would 'ave given my life to save 'is..." Simon said quietly. "What an awful way to die. He was t' last person on earth to deserve it."

He could only nod solemnly. "He was a great guy and friend. The world can be so cruel. All the more reason to make the most of it. I don't want regrets and neither do you."

Simon had plenty of regrets. "I sometimes think, it should indeed have been t' other way around. He always knew what to do. He was happy here... was courtin' a girl. 'e would have made father and mother proud, and he would have been a great husband and father. He was always responsible and kind... I hope t' dead can't look down from heaven."

Elijah tilted his head. "Do you think Tom would look down on you badly? He was a very kind and forgiven man."

[Content warning: Homophobia]

"Aye... But t'... things I've done..." If any of his family were ever to find out, he would die of shame. "He knew... about my... deviant feelings... Well, I don't think he knew the depth. But I once tried talkin' to him about it, when he was pushin' me to show more interest in girls. He wasn't repulsed... He said it was a stage and I'd grow out of it." He scoffed. "Said I'd probably interfered with meself to much. He was such an ass." But he said that with affection in his voice.