Elijah didn't know if this was such a good idea any more, but he didn't know which part he meant. Both sides had their positives and negatives in spades. He was quiet for a long time. 

"Sometimes, I.. feel.. like I don't .. know anymore. I want to be a little happy. Having him in my life is giving me happiness, but clearly I am shy and fearful to sin. But I also feel, it isn't fair.  A family friend found herself in the family way with a boy she loved but he didn't care about her at all. It has turned the family upside down and it will only get worse. Some people blaming themselves or each other over a mistake from a young heart that was misguided. And now her future is so dark and cloudy..."

He clenched his fists and felt the tears sting his eyes. "I think... it isn't fair for God or society to be so cruel to people. If I didn't want to sin but accidentally let someone touch my heart that made me want to, just a little, it isn't fair I have to push them away from me so I don't make a mistake. It makes life feel harder to live. When you realize there could be something better out there, but it's not for you. You aren't allowed to enjoy it, even a little..."