Dearest Pony,

I know that we have our differences, but there is something you should know before I go. I love you and always will. I am sorry to have disappointed you by my behaviour, but I promise you that I have needed to find happiness. You don't understand that love isn't easy for me, that I've longed for a roof over my head and a family, and that nothing I will do in this life or next is submitted for your approval. It is my life to live, they are my mistakes to make and learn from. If I do not learn from my own behaviours, I won't ever change for the better. I simply can't live out of a wagon as you can. I want some semblance of stability, security, and warmth.

Besides, you have love to find yourself and it is hard for you to do that with me constantly trailing behind you, brother. I only want your happiness. That's all. I don't want to be a yoke over the back of your neck when you have so much potential to be something great with the right person. I hope you find her. You'll know when you feel your heart start to beat simply for the joy of looking at her in the morning light.

I only want you to be happy for me as well.

The twins are getting so big... My boy seems to have taken more after his uncle than his father in his disposition. He reminds me of you so very much. I miss you. I have for a while. I will write again from America. I've already left by the time this finds you, if it ever does. I don't know. My husband and I are traveling for a time. I love him so, I know you do not understand how it is for me but it just is. I am excited to meet his family and see America... And maybe you could come to see one day. You're welcome any time, even if it's just to lecture me.

Much Love Always,
Your Sister, Karen