Tobias thought about it. She was right. Of course she was. Father would never rest if he didn't know what was going on with the farm. Tobias told him, tried to keep him informed and involved, while also trying to take more responsibility. He could see that his father tried to leave more things to him and give him that trust. And yet in spite of himself, he would try to keep an eye on everything, and tell him how to handle matters. It had always been that way. It had annoyed him in the past because he had wanted to live his life his way. It annoyed him now, because it felt like father still didn't fully trust him to handle the place responsibly. And it worried him because sometimes he felt he couldn't, and the more father still tried to get involved, the more he felt the approaching absence of his presence and guidance.

He bit his tongue and focused on leading the horses for a bit while he tried to keep a grip on his emotions. Somehow he felt more vulnerable discussing father's approaching death with Bess than with anyone he had talked to so far, even Sally. Bess was his big sister, and there had been a time he would have gone to her for comfort and shelter.

But he was not a boy anymore. The last thing he wanted was to break down in tears in front of her. She too might think he wasn't ready to look after himself and the farm and his future family. He was not the lonely heartsick schoolboy he had been after mother's death. And yet, in a way, he felt very much like then. And the memories of then seemed to make this new grief all the more agonizing. And this time Bess was with him.

He swallowed and forced a smile, looking at the horses rather than at her. "You're right," he admitted, though really he did want to put father's death off for as long as possible, at any cost. "I don't want him to be miserable. I just wish he'd trust me to do the things he can't do anymore..."