Was that what he wanted the other priest to tell him? Expected? Yes. Wanted? No. It was part of the reason why he had avoided the sacrament. What he wanted to hear was how to rekindle the old flame. How to get out of this mess. But perhaps no advice would be good enough if his will was not strong enough.

He remained quiet and listened. Some air was allowed to return to his lungs when father Brennan continued. Gabriel nodded and quickly wiped his face with his sleeve.

"Y- you're right, father. I suppose I have allowed the former sins to weigh me down along with the recent ones, because that is what it felt like." He breathed in deeply. Father Brennan was right, he had made a clean start during his last confession, even if he had struggled again with the same temptations. "Yet I've still sinned again, against my vows and against this poor man, by not keeping my distance, and by having impure thoughts about him." And eleven guilty wanks, but saying that once was enough. "I don't know how to regain control over myself."