[CW: Religious guilt and penance themes]

The house was empty, except for Mrs. Higgins in the kitchen, but she graciously left him alone. Gabriel dropped down in a chair in the dining room, depleted. He had just returned from a house visit to one of the poorer families in the parish. He could still stay in if he wanted on doctor's advice, but after his outburst of this morning, it didn't feel right to reward himself with rest. Perhaps his sin had sprouted from being self-absorbed for too long, and it required attention to the needs of others to make him right again. If his head started hurting again or it wore him out, well, that was his penance.

But he had only been confronted with his own failure and spiritual barrenness. He had felt detached from the people he had spoken to and their suffering. He found himself indifferent, even impatient with their complaints. He had said what he knew he had to say and had gone through the gestures and words of the blessing they had requested, but all he had thought about was going home, and he had caught himself rushing through the ritual. 

Now he felt worse. He placed his elbows on the table and put his face in his hands. But soon he rose. He didn't deserve a rest after that display of selfishness. He went to the kitchen and after repeated protest from Mrs. Higgins, he returned with a cloth and a bucket of water and soap. He knelt down and began to scrub the floor.