08-26-2019, 09:10 PM
There was a voice he recognized. His heart leaped for joy. All week he had been trying to put Mr. Crane out of his head. He had even broken his promise and hadn't visited him anymore. He had to stay as far away as possible. Particular friendships were forbidden, dangerous. And yet he had felt drawn to Mr. Crane. He wanted to help him and be part of the man's life - more so than was proper for a priest. He had gone to the neighboring town to go to confession and was determined to keep himself under strict control from now on. And yet, he had caught himself thinking of Mr. Crane all the time. Was he still sick? Was he disappointed Gabriel hadn't dropped by again? Did he think of him? What was he doing now? Even street kids causing trouble and needing a constable to put them back in line, gave him joy for the mere association. He would tell himself off, and feel ashamed, and be harder on himself. He would skip meals purposely and stay up longer to pray. This man had given him his trust. Gabriel knew his feelings towards him were the worst kind of betrayal. He hated himself for it. And yet his heart leaped.
Then it sank and he tried to strengthen himself, before he left the sacristy. "Mr. Crane," he wanted to sound cold and distant. He failed. He could not suppress some warmth in his voice. Then he noticed the child. "What's going on?" Again, he tried to sound distant. But his voice came out shaky.
Then it sank and he tried to strengthen himself, before he left the sacristy. "Mr. Crane," he wanted to sound cold and distant. He failed. He could not suppress some warmth in his voice. Then he noticed the child. "What's going on?" Again, he tried to sound distant. But his voice came out shaky.