08-17-2019, 05:57 PM
[Content warning: Cheating, reference to prostitution, reference to abuse, self-destructive behavior, alcohol abuse]
He felt disgusted with himself. He had promised himself he wouldn’t go back to Hurley. He hated Hurley. More importantly, what would Zech think of him if he knew? He didn’t want to hurt Zech. He didn’t want Zech to hate him. And he didn’t want to be that anymore. And yet.
After his father had spent all day trying to bully his son into sharing what was wrong and why he kept drinking and staying out at night and talking back, they had finally gotten into a big argument. Simon had left home. He could have gone to Zech. He wanted to go to Zech. And yet he had gone to Hurley.
Hurley, whom he hated. Hurley, who humiliated him, mistreated him, told him he was worthless. Hurley, who was only interested in his own pleasure. Hurley, who made him feel less than human. Hurley, who would throw the money on the ground for Simon to pick up when he was finished, rather than give it to him.
He hated Hurley so much he feared one day he would strangle him. And yet after a few weeks of struggling and reminding himself that it was Zech he loved, and Zech who loved him and was good to him, that it was Zech he wanted to spend the rest of his life with! … he would go back to Hurley.
He needed the money.
The very money he was now wasting in the pub, right after the sickening act. If Zech ever found out, he would lose everything that mattered. He was an animal.
When he left the pub, he was too drunk to stand. At least the taste had finally left his mouth. One day he was going to get out of here. He stumbled and fell, and the next moment he was on his hands and knees, vomiting.
He felt disgusted with himself. He had promised himself he wouldn’t go back to Hurley. He hated Hurley. More importantly, what would Zech think of him if he knew? He didn’t want to hurt Zech. He didn’t want Zech to hate him. And he didn’t want to be that anymore. And yet.
After his father had spent all day trying to bully his son into sharing what was wrong and why he kept drinking and staying out at night and talking back, they had finally gotten into a big argument. Simon had left home. He could have gone to Zech. He wanted to go to Zech. And yet he had gone to Hurley.
Hurley, whom he hated. Hurley, who humiliated him, mistreated him, told him he was worthless. Hurley, who was only interested in his own pleasure. Hurley, who made him feel less than human. Hurley, who would throw the money on the ground for Simon to pick up when he was finished, rather than give it to him.
He hated Hurley so much he feared one day he would strangle him. And yet after a few weeks of struggling and reminding himself that it was Zech he loved, and Zech who loved him and was good to him, that it was Zech he wanted to spend the rest of his life with! … he would go back to Hurley.
He needed the money.
The very money he was now wasting in the pub, right after the sickening act. If Zech ever found out, he would lose everything that mattered. He was an animal.
When he left the pub, he was too drunk to stand. At least the taste had finally left his mouth. One day he was going to get out of here. He stumbled and fell, and the next moment he was on his hands and knees, vomiting.
