[Content warning: (Internalized) homophobia, possible abuse of power/religious authority]

[Seriously, I'm sorry...]


He was not dozing. He was not dozing in the confessional. Absolutely not. He was praying for the sins of this town and for his own. His fingers were on the beads of his rosary after all. But they weren't moving from bead to bead anymore. He was resting his head against the wooden board behind him and had closed his eyes prayerfully. He hadn't opened them for a while. His head was slumping to the side and the rosary was slowly slipping from his increasingly loose grasp.

The door opened and someone stepped in. They were silent for a long moment and then a quiet shameful voice popped up.

"Hello again, Father. It's .. It's me again. I.. oh.. I have a bit to..confess." Elijah stared down at his knees and rung his hands together.

Gabriel hadn't heard the man enter. When the voice came, he jumped and dropped the rosary. He picked it up but knocked his head on the front of the box in the process with a loud "Ow!" He held his head. "Sorry... sorry..." Was that Elijah...? Wait, he shouldn't try to recognize voices. He sat up.
"May the Lord God give you the grace to remember all your sins and come to perfect repentance." He made a cross over Elijah's side of the box. "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.... Go ahead..."

Elijah was startled by the noises in the other side. "That sounded painful, are you alright?"

Since he continued, Elijah decided he must be fine. He took a moment to gather his thoughts before starting, but quickly getting to the point. "I.. I've taken a man into my home. I.. admit I've been lonely and I suppose.. desperate for a friend. But it's become more. We are.. alike in ..a way.. and becoming more than friends.. I suppose you could say. I haven't sinned with him.. but it is growing so tempting. And I don't wish to throw him out."

"Yes yes..." He quickly said.

When he listened to the confession, it felt as if his stomach had been cut open and all his organs were dropping out, leaving his chest empty. He was becoming aware of how difficult it was to breathe and how his hands were shaking. But this was about Elijah, not him. He had to speak. But his mouth was dry. Gabriel closed his eyes. He had to speak. He had to speak now. And yet he didn't trust his own voice.

Elijah frowned as the silence seemed to grow. He became worried, "Please, Father. I know what I'm doing is..is wrong. But I truly appreciate his company, I've not had someone just be by my side and talk to. And so I don't want to lose him to..this. Why are you so quiet?" The worry in his voice was clear.

"I- I'm sorry." Gabriel said at last, with a slight tremor in his voice. His put his hand over his eyes and squeezed. "It's important to avoid temptation... To look for company is not a bad thing in itself, but when it tempts you to sin, you must do something about it. Is there no other place this man can go?"

Elijah hung his head. "I am sorry, you are so disappointed in me. But he was lonely too. And technically yes, he has a home. But mine is nicer it seems and I feed him." He blushed realizing how it probably sounded. "I didn't know he was.. like that.. until after knowing him a few days. I was so happy to just have a friend. When he admitted... the way he was, I was happy to have someone I could relate to.."
 He sighed, he knew it wasn't an excuse. But it was the reason it grew. He was happy with the guy in his life, but it was very upsetting to try to keep both Anthony and Gabriel happy.

"But if it tempts you to act on it, then it does more harm than good to both of you." This guy seriously needed to move out. For Elijah's own good, of course. "Perhaps its better if he'd go home and you bring food occasionally. And set some clear boundaries between you."

Elijah frowned and looked down. "He may find it so hurtful. I never want to hurt anyone, and I do like him. Having someone home to greet me has made me happier than I've been in a long time. It'll feel quiet and cold again if he leaves. " He sighed and put a hand to his face. "I know you are right about distancing temptation. It is why I have put a huge space between me and you. I suppose it is best I do something almost the same... or just find a way to stop thinking of him that way. Like stop sharing a bed..."

He quickly clarified, "It was for just being close. We didn't do anything obscene, I give you my word. " Though technically, he was sure some would find two men kissing or holding each other to be obscene.