11-03-2024, 09:36 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-03-2024, 09:38 AM by Rose Willaby.)
She did ponder about it. Mostly late at night when she couldn't sleep and she felt the slight of Andrew's distance. Or when she woke, and Andrew was already gone and an empty house and empty day awaited her.
While she had been working for Mr. Meijer, all her mind had been on escaping that miserable life. Even before that, she supposed, most of her life had been spent dreaming of a different life. When Andrew had proposed to her, it had felt that she had found the purpose of her life at last. But now her life felt emptier than ever. The chores around the house were meaningless and unseen. Helping her family without taking their resources ought to feel purposeful, but she felt more alienated from them than ever. And now that Andrew kept his distance there was not even the hope of motherhood, which she had dreaded at first. At least while she had worked for Mr. Meijer, she could dream of a different life. She had always known it to be temporary. Marriage was for life.
She slowed her pace. "Pearl..." she started quietly. "I don't want to cast a shadow on yer marriage and yer pregnancy. Ye ought to be happy and focus on that. And I ought to celebrate with ye. But... perhaps ye can give me advice on 'ow ye do it. 'ow you keep Joe happy. I've been a bad wife and now Andrew hates me, and I don't know how to fix it." She could feel her heart beating in her throat. Her breathing was unsteady. But for now, she managed to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.