Gabriel felt like this soul was slipping out of his hands. There were many things he wanted to say, and yet each might either alienate the penitent or deny the severity of his sins. This man needed an entire change of mindset. He looked at the situation through worldly eyes. But how could he educate and guide a person to a religious life in a single confession? Already, the penitent seemed to question his coming here.

"Forgiveness is not the same as doing away with the consequences of an action. And confession and absolution are means to set things right with God. It doesn't set things right between you and your fellow man. But you cannot come here and ask for God's forgiveness if you have no intention to set things right with your neighbour. I cannot force you to turn yourself in or reveal your sins to others in any other way. I'm just asking: If you truly are sorry for your sins, what consequences does it have?"

"Right now those consequences seem to be causing pain to the one woman in this world i've ever felt love for. I gotta tell her father...i can't lie to her. If she hates me for it i just..." he swallowed hard and shook his head, "I couldn't blame her at all. Ain't that odd? I did so much bad for the last damn near six years. Fought and bled for what i was convinced was my only way out after my father died." he kind of chuckled a little bit, not because he particularly thought it was funny, more at how absurd it seemed to his still twisted mind, "far enough to kill when i was just 15, and it took one small, frail lookin woman to make me question it all."

Sam leaned forward again, he was doing a lot of shifting around in that booth. "there was a time when some of the things you said would have earned you a beating from me, i won't lie. since i met her though i've only ever felt that rage when she was insulted. I even quit drinkin, haven't touched a bottle at all. So... i suppose i'll confess to her, an if she hates me for it i'll accept that. hard as it'll be i'll do my best to set her an the baby up an then i'll leave. It ain't makin it right with the people i've hurt, but what would past them watchin me take a short drop an sudden stop?"

"you asked about consequences, an truth is i don't know. I aint sorry for dealin with jack, though maybe turnin his head into a canoe weren't the right way of it. I ain't smart enough to come up with the answer here an now, gonna have to think on that one and get back to you."

Gabriel was quiet for some time, partly to make sure that the man was done talking, and partly because he was looking for the right words to say. None came to him. He wanted to protect the woman this man was going to confess to. If all of his change of heart was down to being in love with her, what would happen if she refused him after hearing what he'd done? He wanted to make the man understand the severity of his sins, but his words seemed hardly to get through.

"Perhaps that is best..." he said slowly. "And perhaps it is best to no longer carry a gun. You may feel vulnerable without it, but that is good. You must wean yourself off violence if you are to live a Christian life. And pray, every night, for the repose of the people you killed and comfort for their families. Can you read?"

Sam stretched his arms as best as he could in the booth. he was keeping an air of calm logical thought, but inside a storm was raging between wanting change and diving right back into the bloodshed. He wasn't sure he could ever fully wean himself off violence, since in all honesty were any harm to come to her or the baby he would do everything in his power or die trying to beat the offender to death bare handed. "You may be right there father. think its been right about...6 years or so since last i didn't have a gun on my hip an a rifle in my hand. this here weanin yer talkin about might take some time, suppose that means i cain't shoot no one in the leg to teach 'em a lesson either hmm? Nothin says i disagree like a gold ol pistol whippin either" he was only kidding...well, sort of. "as far as readin an writin i ain't gonna be writing any books any time soon, but i get by."

"You certainly cannot," Gabriel said shocked, unaware that the other man was joking. "It is a sin to cause harm to other like that, unless in self-defense." 

There was a long way to go. He had never denied anyone absolution before and felt dizzy with what he was about to say next. 

"I cannot absolve you now. These are grave sins and yet you seem only partly sorry, because it will hurt the woman you say you love, and reluctant to renounce them. God cannot forgive you if you are not truly repenting of your sins, and I would make a mockery of this sacrament if I were to speak the words of absolution.

"Go home. Put your gun away. Get yourself a Bible and start reading..." he thought for a moment. "Read Matthew chapters five to seven. Read it slowly, read it again and again. It will tell you what the Kingdom of God is about in a nutshell, and you will see how different it is from the way you think of your sins now. You may come and speak to me in the confessional if you have questions or things to get of your mind and do not want me to know your identity. Come to Mass on Sundays. But do not come forward to receive Communion until you have been absolved. And as for the woman who bears your child, get rid of your gun before you tell her. Do not give the devil weapons against you, for he is cunning and may prey on you when you least expect it."