Tobias stared out across the moors while he listened to his sister. Again, she mentioned the jeweler. It seemed odd to him, a young woman like her discussing her designs and doing business with him like a man. He was quite certain father wouldn't like it either.

He had known that she liked to draw, but he hadn't known that she had been or was so serious about it. He was glad to hear she was more sensible now. Drawing was all well and nice, and if she could earn a little extra with it, good. But it wasn't a stable profession. Teaching was.

He forced a smile in her direction when she continued on her offer. They didn't need a design or something unique. A simple smooth ring would do. But perhaps if he didn't say anything, she'd forget about it.

"We can't always have the life we dream up. Teaching is a perfectly respectable job, I don't see why you should want to quit it, unless to get married," he redirected the conversation instead. "And it's doin' a lot of good."

Her brother said nothing more about the ring, so Bess decided to let the subject go. In truth, she couldn’t really see a farmer’s wife wearing a fancy piece of jewelry. City life is changing me, she thought. Her standards had become higher since moving to Whitby. Whether that was good or bad remained to be seen. Tobias seemed quite content with his simple life. Hopefully, Sally would be too. Bess herself couldn’t imagine living on the farm again. As a child, she had known nothing else, but now she had been accustomed to another way of life.

“I have no intention of quitting my job. I enjoy teaching. It’s very rewarding and the children are quite fond of me. If I get married, I’ll probably have to, but …” She grinned at her brother. “Unlike you, I have not yet found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.” Actually, she had, but he wasn’t free to wed her.

“So when is the wedding going to take place? I hope you will wait for Nate to come home first.” Her smile faded, thinking of their father’s illness. “Unless there’s not that much time.”

They passed a hill and the farm came into view: Dry stone walls demarcating their land. A gate and a sandy path leading up to an old sandstone house with a red tiled roof and an adjoining barn. Around a little yard in front, some sheds, coops and the stables. Behind the house, more buildings, behind them the fields, and behind those, the still purple moors. To Tobias it had always been a delightful sight when he came home on holiday from school, and he had always felt his heart ache whenever he had been forced to leave it again. The moors even more than the home perhaps, but all of it was more home than school or the city had or could ever be to him.

His sister was of an age where many women got married. But she had some time. She seemed to enjoy her life as a teacher, and from what he had understood when he was in Whitby, they appreciated her at the school, so it seemed a good arrangement for all. Bess was a pretty girl, and smart, and hardworking. He was certain there were men who had tried to court her in Castleton as well as Whitby. But she was right to hold out for the right person.

Some part of him wished...

No, there was no point in waiting. Things would only get messier. He didn't wish that.

"We're not sure how much time he has... The doctor said much will depend on the weather the coming months and to what extent he's able to take rest - you know what he's like. I've told him I can handle the farm. And I've taken on two of the Cook boys outside of school hours. They've been great. But he still wants to do everything... Anyway, sorry. We'll get married in five weeks time. Saturday __ of October. We'll have the banns read this Sunday." As for his brother, he purposely forgot to answer that. If he had time to show up for it, good. If not, also fine. Nate was living his own life. Why trouble him? "We want to keep it modest, you know... given the circumstances."

As she made this journey every weekend, Bess knew at exactly what moment she would first see the farm.  She should feel as if she was coming home, but with each trip, she felt a little more detached.  The farm was not her home anymore and never would be again.  She put aside a little money every time she got paid and she had enough saved up that she could get by for a few months if she lost her job at the school.  It wouldn’t take her long to find another teaching job, though she might have to relocate again.  In the past few years, she had become an independent woman who was able to support herself and saw no reason to return to the farm for good.

The sight still filled her with nostalgia, though.  She’d had some good times here with her family.  Her childhood, though full of hard work, had been a happy one.  Sometimes she even missed the work that she had complained about as a child.  If she missed it too much, she was sure that Tobias … and Sally, when they married … wouldn’t mind a bit of help now and then.

Her gaze turned back to her youngest brother as he explained their father’s condition.  It was going to get colder, which wouldn’t be good for him.  And while Tobias seemed to have the farm under control, Bess did indeed know what their father was like, wanting to be useful even though he knew he was dying.  And if the wedding was going to be held in five weeks, maybe he didn’t have much time left on this earth.  She would write Nate tonight and tell him everything so that he could make an informed decision.  Bess hoped that he would come, and that he would be welcome.  Her brothers had their differences, but for their father's sake, they needed to put them aside, at least temporarily.

“Maybe you should allow Father to do what he can.  Lying in bed may help him live a bit longer, but perhaps he would rather make the most of the time he has left.  I know that I would if I were in his situation.”  Bess doubted this advice was going to go over well with Tobias, but she felt that she needed to say it anyway.

Tobias thought about it. She was right. Of course she was. Father would never rest if he didn't know what was going on with the farm. Tobias told him, tried to keep him informed and involved, while also trying to take more responsibility. He could see that his father tried to leave more things to him and give him that trust. And yet in spite of himself, he would try to keep an eye on everything, and tell him how to handle matters. It had always been that way. It had annoyed him in the past because he had wanted to live his life his way. It annoyed him now, because it felt like father still didn't fully trust him to handle the place responsibly. And it worried him because sometimes he felt he couldn't, and the more father still tried to get involved, the more he felt the approaching absence of his presence and guidance.

He bit his tongue and focused on leading the horses for a bit while he tried to keep a grip on his emotions. Somehow he felt more vulnerable discussing father's approaching death with Bess than with anyone he had talked to so far, even Sally. Bess was his big sister, and there had been a time he would have gone to her for comfort and shelter.

But he was not a boy anymore. The last thing he wanted was to break down in tears in front of her. She too might think he wasn't ready to look after himself and the farm and his future family. He was not the lonely heartsick schoolboy he had been after mother's death. And yet, in a way, he felt very much like then. And the memories of then seemed to make this new grief all the more agonizing. And this time Bess was with him.

He swallowed and forced a smile, looking at the horses rather than at her. "You're right," he admitted, though really he did want to put father's death off for as long as possible, at any cost. "I don't want him to be miserable. I just wish he'd trust me to do the things he can't do anymore..."

Tobias didn’t answer her immediately. He seemed to be mulling it over. Bess could tell how difficult this discussion was for him, and her heart went out to him. Not only did he carry the weight of the farm on his shoulders, but he had to watch their father deteriorate day by day. It was a burden that nobody should have to bear, and she wished she could do more to help him than come home on the weekends.

She might have hugged him if she thought he would appreciate it and he wasn’t driving the trap. But Bess doubted that his older sister’s embrace would comfort him now that he was a grown man. The best thing she could do was listen and be there for him whenever he needed emotional support. Whitby wasn’t all that far away.

Bess sat in silence as he got his emotions under control. Finally he smiled a bit sadly and agreed with her assessment of the situation. Her smile echoed his. “You will soon be in charge and will be able to do things your own way. For now, humor him and treasure every moment you are able to spend together. I wish I could see him more often. Would it help you if I took a few weeks off from teaching?”

Taking time off would take a big bite out of her savings, but she would do it if Tobias needed … or wanted … her with him. Family was more important than money and she knew that she would not lose her job as she was one of the best teachers the school had. And she could still design jewelry for William while she stayed at the farm.

The offer surprised him a little. Bess had become so remarkably independent and seemed to enjoy her life away from home so much that he had not expected her to return home for a longer time willingly. But she too was about to lose her only remaining parent.

"Ye know ye're always welcome 'ere," he said and he meant it. "But I wouldn't want ye to do it for me. I'll manage. 'E'd be happy to see ye more. Perhaps when 'e gets sicker and needs more 'elp or someone watchin' over 'im. Amy's a smart lass and responsible for 'er age, but there's already so much for 'er to do, especially while there's no Mrs. Appleton. We'll need some 'elp when father gets poorer."

They approached the gate. A light trail of smoke was rising from the chimneys on either side of the cottage. A few hens chased a cat across the yard. A boy came running out of the stables and opened the gate. "Welcome 'ome, Miss Appleton," greeted young Adam Cook.

Always so brave and self-sufficient, Bess thought with a surge of pride and a pang of sorrow. She should have known that Tobias wouldn’t admit he needed help even if he did. He was not nearly as easy to read as he had been as a child, and she could not tell whether he wanted her to come around more or not. He was young for so much responsibility, but she would be useless doing farm work. She had been away from it too long. What she could do was tend their father, allowing Amy to do other things.

Yet perhaps it would be best to do as Tobias suggested and wait until he got worse. In some ways, her youngest brother was wiser than she was. “Very well, I will take some time off when he needs more care.”

She managed a smile, though it was a bit weak. “And there will be a Mrs. Appleton soon.” Taking care of their father during his final weeks would make Sally’s life easier too. She would need to adjust to her new role as wife and lady of the house, though being a farmer’s daughter herself, it wouldn’t be too difficult. Bess envied Sally a bit. She was younger than Bess and was able to marry the man she loved. One didn’t have that luxury when in love with a married man.

The trap approached the gate and Bess’ smile brightened a bit when she saw the house she had grown up in. Adam Cook opened the gate and greeted her. “Thank you, Adam. I’m glad to be home.”

She looked over at her brother. “You are doing a great job with the farm, Tobias. I think it looks better every time I see it.”

Tobias truly didn't know if he'd be happy about Bess coming or not. He often felt lonely these days, in a way he hadn't felt before. Homesick in a way he hadn't felt at home before. And his responsibilities and father's approaching death overwhelmed him. But in a few weeks he'd be a married man who needed to make Sally comfortable in her new home. All would be tense enough with father's condition. He felt tense about all of it. Having another person in the home might make them feel even less like a married couple. He didn't want Bess to see what he was like as a new husband. Perhaps she'd feel he didn't get it right and judge him. He was already anxious that father and the servants might.

He pushed the thoughts away. He was just too overwhelmed to think, that was it. It would be good for both Bess and father. And Sally wouldn't mind, sweet thing. She'd agree to whatever was good for his father. God, he did love her.

When Adam had secured the horses, Tobias jumped down and moved over to Bess's side to help her down. He knew she was fully capable of getting herself down, but she was still a young lady. "Ye go in," he told her. "He's eager to see you. I'll bring yer things."

The house itself was of faded grey sandstone with a door in the middle, two large, white paneled and gridded windows on either side of the door, at the front of the house, and three diamond gridded windows on the floor above. There were shrubs growing up against the house, around the windows, that gave flowers in spring, but those had withered now.

Though accustomed to doing everything herself, William was so gallant that Bess was becoming accustomed to having doors opened for her, being assisted from carriages, and helped into her coat. Taking Tobias’ hand, she stepped down with a bit more grace than she’d had when she left home. She had instinctively picked up some sophisticated behavior from her well-off friends and it was now second nature to her. The country girl was rapidly turning into a city girl.

For a moment, she stood and looked around her, memories flooding her mind. There had been both good times and bad times growing up, but most of her memories were positive. “Thank you, Tobias,” Bess said to her brother’s offer and hurried toward the house. For some reason, she noticed the bushes that were rapidly losing their dried up leaves. Like their father, they were dying, though they would bloom again in the spring. She doubted that her father would last that long.

Steeling herself against the tears that burned behind her eyelids, she walked through the door. Bess found her father sitting in a chair, looking a bit weaker than he had last week. It seemed that he was deteriorating before her eyes. How difficult it must be for Tobias, seeing him every day.

“It’s good to be home again,” she remarked, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. “How are you doing?”