September 1882

Tobias slowly drove the trap downhill to the railway station, just as the train from Whitby approached with it's long smoky tail overhead. He stopped at a good distance as he did not want to frighten the horse. Father was normally the one to pick Bess up from the station on Friday evening. Another task Tobias had taken over. 

When he had left school a year ago, he had bragged about being a grown man and had felt it, but it was only in the past few weeks, after learning his father's diagnosis, that he began to feel the weight of what it meant to become a man. It had been comfortable so far, working under his father and being told what to do; courting without a final commitment to seal the direction of his life and bury the past and other futures; sharing the job and having plenty of time left to escape to the moors to enjoy its wild beauty and let his mind and feet wander. He now knew that he had still been a boy. But it was coming to an end. He had known that he would take over the farm one day, but who would have thought 'one day' would come so fast? 

When the train had stopped, Tobias gently shook the reigns and the horse and trap began to move again. At the station, he jumped down, held the horse still and looked over to the platform. Few people got off at this stop. There was his older sister. He waved.

Bess fiddled with her silver and emerald bracelet, oblivious to the view through the window by which she sat. As usual, her mind was on William. They had spent last night together and the bracelet had been his latest gift to her. It was a little more expensive than she was able to afford, but if anybody noticed, she would say that she had saved up for it.

She smiled as she thought of the first gift he had presented to her shortly after they had begun their affair. It was a beautiful necklace made completely of diamonds and far too fancy for a young woman of modest means. Bess had given it back to him, explaining the situation, and he had promised to keep it for her until she became his wife. As he was already married, she didn’t think that would ever happen, but it was a lovely dream.

Though she was becoming less and less satisfied with their arrangement, Bess loved William and she knew he felt the same way about her. Even if she wanted to, she could never bring herself to leave him. Maybe she would remain his mistress for the rest of her life. Perhaps she would marry somebody else eventually, because she did want a family of her own, but William would always have her heart. Bess could not even imagine a life without him.

The train slowed and stopped, bringing the young woman out of her reverie. She was the only one disembarking at Castleton, which wasn’t a surprise considering how small the town was. After four years working in Whitby, it was hard to believe that she had once been content here. Collecting her bag, she stepped onto the platform, looking around for Tobias and spotting him a short distance away.

He waved and she strolled over to join him. “As always, thanks for picking me up,” she said. “How is Father? I hope he’s feeling better.”

"No problem," Tobias said. He took her bag and lifted it up on the trap. Then he helped her up. The bracelet flashed on her wrist and caught his eye. Where had she gotten that? Was Bess seeing someone?

He moved to the other side and climbed up beside her. "A little..." he replied. He clicked his tongue, gently shook the reigns and they began to move. "Dr. Barnes has given him something to clear the lungs a little and has given some dietary prescriptions. He's takin' more walks to get fresh air and that seems to help a little." What he left unsaid was what they both knew: that their father wouldn't recover. "I was wondering if you could write to Nathan to ask him to come home. It feels wrong to tell him about father's condition in a letter. I think he ignores me anyway."

Bess relinquished her bag, which wasn’t very heavy, and let Tobias assist her into the trap.  She nodded solemnly while her brother brought her up-to-date on their father’s condition.  She didn’t know what was worse … losing a family member suddenly or watching them slowly succumb to a fatal illness. 

It suddenly struck her that when Father was gone, she would be the oldest member of the Appleton family.  Bess had never been much of a big sister.  She had not been protective of her brothers or bossed them around.  Nor had she ever given them advice.  She had focused mostly on her art and saw no reason for that to change.  They had all gone their separate ways, after all.

“That’s good to hear.  Exercise and fresh air are always beneficial.”  Bess walked from the boarding house to the school and back every day and she felt healthier than she had ever been.  Or maybe her glowing constitution had more to do with being in love.

Bess turned toward Tobias when he spoke of Nathan.  She had thought he had already informed their brother of his father’s failing health.  “I would rather let him know in a letter than to have him come home to an unpleasant surprise.  I will write him but I will tell him what is going on.”  The corners of her mouth turned up in a slight smile.  “If I don’t, he might ignore me too … or hate us both for keeping him in the dark.”

She looked straight ahead.  The familiar landscape was comforting.  “Has anything else of note happened since last weekend?”

They entered the village. The farm lay about two miles behind it still. Some people nodded at them or waved. Men tipped their hats at Miss Appleton who seemed to be turning out finer by the day, probably because of the seaside environment. Tobias nodded back at the people in greeting while he listened to his sister.

"Ye're right," he agreed even though he wasn't sure he really agreed. He had considered telling his brother in a letter, but letters between them were so infrequent and so impassive, that he simply didn't know how to deliver this kind of message in such a form. He had finally just written an update about the farm and family, without saying anything about their father's health, and had asked Nathan to come home. But he had not received a reply yet, nor had his brother come home. He had thought that if Bess asked him to come home, Nathan might listen, just because he didn't dislike Bess. He had no idea how she'd deliver such bad news in a letter, and so he doubted whether it was the right approach.

Still, he was glad dealing with Nathan was her problem now.

"Well..." he began when his sister asked about updates. "I meant to tell you later, but Sally and I got engaged." If he was going to be a man now, he could just as well do it all the way, he had reasoned. And father liked Sally. It would give him some peace if he knew the matter was settled.

The trap trundled through the village.  Bess had never considered it small until she had moved to Whitby, as she had known nothing else.  She felt like a city girl now who no longer belonged in Castleton.  Not only were her clothes finer than when she had lived on the farm, but some of her mannerisms had changed as well.  The friends she visited told her that her posture and grace had improved and her voice sounded more refined. 

She waved back at the villagers and smiled when men doffed their hats.  Bess pretended she didn’t see one fellow in particular who had relentlessly pursued her before she had left.  Though handsome and polite, he worked as a stable hand and she had no intention of marrying a poor man who always smelled like a horse.  The wife of a jeweler would suit me much better, she thought, idly fiddling with the bracelet again.

Tobias agreed with her, though if he had not, she would have informed their brother anyway.  Their father was only going to get worse and Nathan deserved to spend some time with him before he was gone.  If he decided to stay away … well, that was his choice.

Bess turned her full attention on Tobias when he said he was engaged.  The news didn’t really surprise her.  He and Sally had been friends since they were children and she had grown up to be a pretty young woman.  She thought that both of them were a bit too young to wed, but as they had known each other all their lives, perhaps it would work out.  She understood the timing too.  Tobias wanted to marry while his father was still alive.  It would give him hope for the future of the Appleton family.

She did notice that his eyes didn’t light up with excitement when he spoke of Sally, which sent warning bells off in her mind.  “Congratulations,” Bess said with a genuine smile.  “When did the two of you realize that you wanted to be more than friends?"

That question alarmed him more than it should have. The horses seemed to sense the tension in his grip on the reigns for they slowed down for a moment and one tried to step aside. "Hey now..." Tobias said and he brought them back under control.

Once they continued at a steady pace, Tobias glanced at his sister and let out an awkward chuckle, before turning his eyes back on the road. "Are ye surprised then? I've always loved 'er." It was true, too. Sally was kind and gentle, without being cowardly - far from it. For all the elegancy and beauty and fine manners she had gained while growing from a scruffy farm girl that wandered the moors with him to a fine young lady who turned heads in the village, she had never lost the sense of adventure and the frankness that he had admired from childhood. And she liked him, and understood him, and he understood her, and all those things were rare, he felt. He had never fitted in, but with Sally, he didn't feel like a stranger. So aye, he loved her.

He glanced at his sister again. "You do like 'er, don't ye?"

He was embarrassed.  That was why he didn’t seem excited. Bess had never considered how awkward it was for a young man to discuss love with his older sister.  She would have no problem at all revealing her feelings for William to Tobias and Nate, or even their father.  In fact, she longed to tell them.  She wished she could shout it loud enough for the entire world to hear.  Yet that was impossible and probably always would be.  She refused to think of William’s wife passing away.  He was unhappy in his marriage but his two little girls deserved to have their mother in their lives.

“A bit,” she admitted, "though perhaps I should have seen it coming.  The two of you have been inseparable since childhood.  And yes, of course I like Sally.  I think of her as my friend too.  I will not tell Nate when I write him about Father.  You can inform him yourself when he gets here.”

For a few moments, she sat in silence, as if pondering something.  Finally she spoke again.  “You know the owner of the jewelry store in Whitby sometimes buys my jewelry designs.  Would you like me to design a wedding ring for Sally?  I’m certain that Mr. St. Clair will be happy to make it for you and I will make sure that it’s something that you can afford.”

Tobias relaxed a little when his sister expressed that she too liked Sally, though he couldn't completely shake the discomfort. Did Bess not believe he loved Sally? Well she was wrong!

He did not see a reason why she shouldn't tell Nate in the letter, or why he would have to go through the trouble of having to write a separate letter to a brother who would either not care or quietly sneer at Tobias' 'parochial' life and decisions. He opened his mouth to say as much, but then realized that announcing a marriage in the same letter than brought news of their father's death would be inappropriate. So instead, he nodded and resolved to wait and see when Nate would return home. If it was before the wedding, he could be told then.

The offer surprised him. Bess had said something about earning some money for her designs, but he had not realized it happened often enough to be on such good terms with the jeweler as to be able to negotiate. Bess had lived a much more sheltered life than he, with less education. But she seemed to have a mind for business and be making quite a life for herself. And he wished that didn't make him feel as intimidated as it did.

The offer was sweet. He didn't know how to turn it down without offending his sister. He had a simple gold wedding band in mind. The farm required hard work, also from his future wife, and a fancy ring with engravings or protrusions would be harder to keep clean and harder to work with. He gave his sister an awkward smile. "Thank you... I'll ask Sally what she thinks..." he tried to buy time.

They left the village and now drove along a sandy path on a hill. The heather on the side of the road was reaching the end of its bloom. "Sounds like yer makin' quite a name for yerself with those designs then? Do ye sell a lot?"

Maybe I shouldn’t have offered to design the ring.  Tobias didn’t seem suspicious about her familiarity with William. It might have been different had she used his given name.  As Bess sold her designs to the jewelry store, of course she would converse with its owner.  Some of her designs were commissions for pieces of jewelry the customers had ordered with specific instructions as to how they should look.  She had never told Tobias about those.  Designs were designs, commissioned or otherwise.

Bess was pleased that he didn’t refuse her offer, but disappointed that he had not immediately accepted it.  She understood that he would wish to discuss it with Sally first.  She shrugged when Tobias asked her if she sold a lot of her designs.  “Only a few a month.  I usually present Mr. St. Clair with lots of drawings, but he doesn’t like them all.  I’ll never make enough money from sketching jewelry to quit my teaching job.”

She smiled at her younger brother.  “I never told anybody this, but when I was a child, I used to dream about becoming a famous artist.  I know now that I’m not good enough for that, but at least my modest skills allow me to earn a bit of extra money now and then.”

Bess’ eyes traveled over the familiar landscape.  “If you and Sally accept my offer, she can help me design it so that it will be uniquely hers.”