Elijah looked down silently as he took his hand. And then his thumb moved across it. It was such a small movement but it said so much. He looked up and knew it would be so easy to close the gap between them.

To just live out a moment to keep with him forever.

He refused to fail so suddenly after saying he could be good. And he would be, for both their sakes. He smiled and squeezed his hand tenderly as he spoke, in a lower softer voice than he'd meant to.

"There's nothing wrong about this... we can do this." His heart wasn't the only thing that was throbbing, but he was behaving and he was actually happy. He could stand there, holding his hand and just be close. It was a dream come true.

No, they couldn't. He should stay away from Elijah entirely. But he couldn't relinquish the hand now and tell him to go. Instead, he wanted to pull the man close and feel him against himself.

"We shouldn't," he finally managed to whisper. But the words seemed to have no effect on his body. He brought Elijah's hand up to his mouth and planted a tender kiss on the knuckles. Then, still leaning his face against the hand, he closed his eyes. "God help me."

Things kept progressing and he was feeling weaker. He suddenly couldn't breathe, time felt like it was standing still. He could just hear his heartbeat in his ears.

The constable stepped forward and slipped his other hand around the man to hug him. He didn't care if his condition was obvious. He wanted to kiss him but instead, he rest his forehead against Gabriel's who was such a perfect height for him. He was perfect in every way , outside and in.

"I don't know if it was chance or God that placed us together in this town. But I've never felt so much love and joy as I do when I'm close to you. And I don't want to lose that. God, give me strength and both of you forgive me if I fall..." he said quietly and closed his eyes.

And suddenly he got his wish. Elijah's body was against his. He let go of the hand to cup the other man's face.

God. He had to bring God in.

Gabriel stood frozen, indecisive between two loves for the moment. He knew which one he should choose, but all his being - and at the moment especially his body - was yearning for the other.

He could pull Elijah closer. He could kiss him. He could push him into the table and...

His breath was shaky. He didn't want to break away for fear that this chance would never reoccur. But he stepped back. This was lust. And he would regret it. "I'm sorry..."

As wonderful as the moment was, when he found his arm empty, he looked up. He felt exposed and didn't realize how heavy he had been breathing.

"N-no... " he placed a hand over his face. What was he doing !? "Please, don't apologize. It's me. It's... it is always me who is failing. I don't deserve God and I don't deserve you."

He was a complete mess, and he would ruin Gabriel and his own soul. No matter what he told himself, that he could be strong. Just the chance to get close to the priest had him stumbling over himself.

He stepped back shakily and looked down. "I should... g-go. I've done enough damage..." he clutched at his chest feeling the pain from the rejection and the shame. Would he never learn?

"No. Elijah, please," he wanted to step forward and grab the man, but instead, he held up his hand. "You've not done wrong. Not more than I have done anyway. But we mustn't.... We must," keep distance, avoid one another - he couldn't say it. "We must be careful. We must avoid situations like these."

Elijah turned from him in shame and leaned toward the wall to bury his face. "Like what? Please guide me, Gabriel. I will do as you say. I want to be close to you. I want to hold you. I've never even kissed you but every second I am close I feel so happy but then I feel like I am breaking a rule. I can honestly keep my pants on. But it's so hard to not want to just take you in my arms and look at you. Why did he make me so weak and make you so lovely?" He couldn't turn back to him. He was trying to control himself and hide his shame.

He felt hopeless. He wanted to comfort Elijah. And hug him. And give in to all those desires he had worked so hard at suppressing. But how would he live with himself? "I don't know what to say, Elijah..."

Here he was, the preacher without words, the shepherd who couldn't lead the flock. Who preyed on his own sheep. What had he become?

"I wish I could hold you, but I don't trust myself. I'm not as good and lovable as you seem to think I am."

He groaned in frustration and turned towards Gabriel. "You are. Look at you."

He stepped up to him and took his hands but not in a loving gesture. It was one of desperation, for him to realize.

"You were fine before I confessed to you. Whatever you felt it was in control. It was me being the devil and leading you astray without meaning to. Despite this you've been so kind and tried to help me no matter what you wanted, you did your job. When it might have been so easy to just throw me away and forbid me from coming to you. You punished yourself more to be the wonderful and caring priest you are. This town is lucky to have you. I know they are, even if they don't always realize it. I'm not sitting in that pew watching you just to see you. I listen to your words and they touch me deeply. If you weren't so good and wonderful, this wouldn't be so hard."

Gabriel did not resist when Elijah grabbed his hands, but he looked away. He did not dare to meet Elijah's eye.

He slowly shook his head. "You are not responsible for my feelings, Elijah. But I want to be that good priest you believe I am... and I do not trust myself when you are so close..." He turned his face to look at his hands in Elijah's. He slowly pulled them back. "Please, we have a new priest and he's a good one. He can help you with all you spiritual needs. I think it is better if we..." The words nearly suffocated him, "...if we try to stay away from one another as much as possible."