Elijah sat up and sighed, "It isn't as easy as you think, Ben. People appreciate me because having the constable there can give them a sense of safety and security, but that doesn't mean they really like me as a person. If I try to talk with someone too long they get annoyed and ask me if I should be chatting up when I'm supposed to be working or will act like I'm not taking my job seriously." That had only happened a few times but it stuck with him, and then the paper returned to his mind. Perhaps he was a bad constable, perhaps he should take some time off and get someone from York to take over.

Ben was quiet for a moment. "But ye know we care about ye. Ye know I've worried about you bein' lonely. I wonder at how ye've rejected the notion of courtin' Rose. Or why ye didn't take Alice as yer wife. It's not good that ye're all alone at this age... It would be good for ye to have company in the home, and children, so ye wouldn't have to rely so much on friends. Wouldn't ye look for a wife? Even if ye weren't in love, there's still a lot ye could provide."

Elijah sighed heavily, "I know it sounds ridiculous that I complain about being lonely and refusing a wife. I love Rose and Alice, but they are like sisters to me. I don't want a wife I feel like I would ruin their lives as I can't provide what they need other than food and shelter. I would never be a good husband where being a husband matters." They had mentioned it before but now his reasons seemed sillier. "I just want someone there to talk to, who doesn't have to depend on me and doesn't expect anything more than friendship. Sometimes you just want someone to speak to and have them listen." That's why he was here with Ben, Ben was the only person that he could speak to as everyone else had left him.

Ben was quiet for a long time, and finally nodded. "I'm sorry ye feel lonely," he finally said. "Ye know ye're always welcome here. I know I ain't always been the best of friends to ye, but I care about ye, and I wish I could do more to help ye feel better." He got up, took two cups, and heated the boiler.

Elijah nodded in thought and leaned back in his seat when Ben left them alone. He ran his hands through his hair and closed his eyes. "Thank you, Ben. You've always been a good father figure to me. I appreciate it, and all you do. There's no easy way to help me feel better. It's something I need to figure out for myself, but thank you for letting me get this off my chest. It has been eating away at me to the point I feel almost empty.'

Ben turned to look at him with a worried frown. "It pains me to see ye like this. You're one of the best people I know, Elijah, and ye don't deserve to be miserable."

Elijah waved him off, "it's alright, Ben. It isn't anything you've done. I.. maybe I have done it to myself. Maybe I deserve everything that has happened to me because I'm not as good as I think I am and there's a bigger picture that I'm failing." He sighed and stood to see if Ben wanted help.

"Now stop it!" said Ben, in a rather stern voice. "What faults could ye probably have, other than bein' too trustin' of other people? I really don't want to hear ye talk about yerself like that."

Elijah jumped at the change in his tone and frowned more. "Sorry, Ben... " He couldn't tell him more. He couldn't tell him that the scars were the only bad part of himself, that that's why he had had Anthony stay with him. He couldn't tell him the guilt he felt driving away Gabriel. He only hinted these things and yet it wasn't enough to make the picture clear, he couldn't do that to Ben either. He looked down and sighed. "I am just.. stressed, more than anything."

Ben regretted his tone as soon as Elijah spoke up. He had meant to help, but had forgotten how sensitive the man was. He put a hand on Elijah's shoulder. "Sit down. I'll make ye some tea."