They were too early, but her midwife assured her that this was normal when there were multiples. It scared her greatly, more than she was willing to admit but for those around her Aurore kept on a brave face. She was in no mood to die this day, nor was she ready to leave behind her family. However, it felt so very strange and so…peaceful to be in the comforts of her own home and in her own bed. 

Lucian was delivered at the hands of a blacksmith and a lady pirate in the West Indies, and Magdalen under the black skies of Prague. Both were born out of survival and Aurore was never given the chance to even take a moment and enjoy her pregnancy with either. This time around, everything felt different. 

Throughout the day when one of the children moved she would take a moment to stop and think of how stunning the whole thing was. In their bed at night she would reach out for Fintan’s hand and place it on her stomach so that he could feel. And in the earlier months of their movements it as easy enough to go about her life, but when the pain in her spine began she had most of her work sent to her so that she could do it from her bed. By the spring she was unable to do more than to leave her bed for a walk in the gardens. 

They came like lions in the predawn morning of the 5th of April. 

The labor lasted only the span of the afternoon and evening, but she delivered them both without much fuss. The blood however, was hard to stop and once the physician was finished he came out weary and with a dire warning. 

“Captain McKenna, congratulations two beautiful and healthy girls,” the doctor smiled a little to the young boy who was also waiting and whose face fell the disappointment there wasn’t a brother.

“I would say not to look so forlorn, young master, but Captain…this should be her last.”

If he had any regrets in life (in truth there were many), it would be that he was not able to be there for Aurore during her previous pregnancies. A moral disagreement and her betrothal had happened so quickly that he hadn't known about Lucian until after his birth.

But this time was different, he swore to it as soon as they knew she was once again with child..ren. Two was a surprise.

He had temporarily promoted his quartermaster to acting captain for the year and barely left Aurore's side for six months. It was a strange existence to one so accustomed to sleeping with his boots on, this gentle domesticity. It had settled over him gently at first but now he struggled to think of a time where he would have to leave them all behind again, even if only for a few weeks at a time.

He had learned more about his children than he ever had before - Lucian was thoughtful and adventurous and so full of life that sometimes it amazed him at the time that had passed since he first held the boy in his arms who was now a breathing person with opinions. So many opinions. And Magdalen, soft-spoken and kind and smarter than Fintan could ever hope to be had Aurore's stubborn confidence and the quickest wit there was. Also an adamant aversion to green vegetables. He had long since given up on reading her bedtime stories to let her simply recount the latest novel she had read to him. Little Women had been a chore since he had difficulty remembering who each of the sisters were and she would have to frequently interrupt her dramatic retelling with a brief synopsis.

But as April 5th drew to a close, he was suddenly at the mercy of the household now veritably filled with little women.

As was tradition, he was left to wait out in the hallway like a truant child while the adults attempted to rectify the trouble he had caused. And he felt guilty, stewing in a dining room chair in the hall for what felt like a lifetime thinking about what he had done to her. Children were a blessing but birth was always a risk, a risk that was only hers to bear and it left him feeling hollow.

Lucian had come to sit with him in the hall and was sharply awoken from his unintentional nap when the door opened and Fintan was already on his feet to greet the doctor. He breathed a sigh of relief that the children were safe and healthy but he was already peering across the man's shoulder inside the room.

"Of course, doctor. How is Aurore? Will she be alright?"

Girls.

Lucian’s clear disapproval made the doctor smile a little but the boy slipped on without his father into the room that held his mother without another word. Or…invitation. Let the grownups talk of her wellbeing and what she may or may not need, Luc knew his mother wouldn’t die of something so silly as childbirth. 

Magdalen wasn’t far behind.  

“She will be, Fintan, but I mean it…this should be her last. Come to my office next week and we’ll discuss further. For now, go to your family. There shall be no speaking of death on a day as this.” The doctor motioned to the window with his hat before he put it on. 

“See that? The sun has come.” 

The Lady Lockwood was a saint and Aurore felt often that she didn’t deserve her. She hadn’t been around to deliver her other children but already the differences were truly a thing of glorious comfort and of a perfect calm. She had been right there at her side and directing the other attendants as they went so that long before her husband or her children arrived there was never even a single sign that blood had ever been part of this night. Before their birth they’d gone over the details of her wishes and a wet nurse was one of them, so Mrs. Lockwood set out space and put three women on the staff for rotation and had two others on standby should the needs of the twins not be met. 

She was a saint of a woman and even now waited at the bedside of her lady just to see the first time Aurore’s family would meet their newest little loves. One daughter was bundled up in her mother’s arms and the other she held to give to Captain McKenna when he made his way in. 

“Gently,” She spoke to Maggie and the young girl didn’t jump into the bed as she would normally but waited with Luc at the bedside where her mother touched their hair and in a weak voice about how they were going to be the very best elder siblings. 


Mrs. Lockwood would allow the children to stay only a little longer, and by the time Fintan came to take over the infant in her arms, she would see to it. However, for now she was happy to just be in this moment with them.

Once his worst fears had been relieved, Fintan's mind had to immediately race back to what the doctor had said. Two beautiful and healthy girls. His knees nearly gave out as though a wave had just crashed over him. A wave of what, he couldn't confirm - fear, perhaps? Gratitude, joy, deep inadequacy, love in boundless measure? An overwhelming combination of all of them and then some, he suspected.

And Luc had already slipped from his grasp. Still, Fintan dared not raise his voice to call the boy in these hallowed halls. It felt religious, the creation of life from the other side of a closed door. How foolish it suddenly seemed to think of God as a man.

"Of course, doctor. If that is what is best for her and what she wishes then it will be done. Four is already more than I could have ever asked of her."

Four

How had the size of their family nearly doubled overnight? His head was spinning as he gingerly entered the room and was immediately handed a baby. His hands felt clumsy and it struck him just how small she was - little more than a round face and a fine fuzz of blonde hair swaddled in a blanket. Fintan hadn't known Luc or Maggie as infants and had never held them like this before. He stood there in the doorway, barely breathing in fear that any move he made would wake her. When he finally looked up at Aurore there were tears in his eyes.

Mrs. Lockwood was good enough to guide him to the chair beside the bed and he sat gently, cradling the child in his arms and already lamenting that he would eventually have to let her go. He looked at his wife, their daughter in her arms and he was lost for words. Aurore looked tired, more so than he had ever seen. But she was always so skilled at hiding it, the admiral's daughter who wore indifference like a mask and rouge like a weapon. But now she just looked human.

"I'm sorry," he said, the words leaving his lips without truly knowing why. But they felt like the right ones. He laid a hand over hers and all the other words he wanted to say bottled up in his throat. I'm sorry. I love you. Thank you. I'm right here. I'll always be right here. He owed her a debt now, one he knew he could never repay.

“Oh blessed be this day,” Mrs. Lockwood smiled as she squeezed Fintan’s shoulder before releasing him to tend to his wife once more. With a touch to her cheek to check for a fever she smiled at the younger woman and the infant in her arms as well.

“Young masters, let us prepare for the day. I know it has been a long night, but we must prevail.” Both of the older children wanted very much to protest but as Aurore touched both of their sweet little faces she agreed with Mrs. Lockwood.

Once upon a time she stood at the corner of a boxing arena just to shout at him and call him back down. What was he thinking letting some man beat upon him as such, and letting down his guard. She’d accused him of wanting to let them hurt him, so that he could at least feel. She hadn’t understood his need for such a test of survival until Lucian was born.

Aurore was much younger then and unmarried, a woman with every single luxury afforded to her station, but from the first time she felt her child move inside her she knew what true fear felt like. She had to survive, and it felt like madness. She hadn’t been as willing to take chances or speak so openly in courts that were no longer her’s to command, and by the time Magdalen was born she was still frozen with fear.

This time, everything felt so very different, and now that they were alone she didn’t feel the resentment and fear burn through her as before.

Im sorry.

You should be, if she were cruel she would have answered, but those days were gone and the tears in his eyes enough to remind her that he was already his own worst enemy. Her fingers moved to touch his hair and brush his skin as though to pull him back from that hell they both still visited elsewhere in their nightmares. He was lost in his thoughts and fears of the future, and she just wanted him to be here with her now.

Once the door closed behind them and the sound of the children were well down in the hall, Aurore drew down the covers freshly changed and sat up a little more in the fort of fine pillows Cat made sure to fluff.

“Come, my love, come meet your daughter who had to come first. Just—“ She motioned to his feet with her eyes, “No shoes.” A little bit of their inside humor as long ago he’d always fallen into bed so tired he didn’t even take off his boots. She wanted so much to lighten the moment and though it was nearly unheard of and something akin to a sin, Aurore wasn’t one to send him to his own rooms. Frankly, she had started using the wardrobe in there as well.