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+---- Thread: [Complete] Sight for Sore Eyes [Market, Shops and Spas] (/showthread.php?tid=84)
RE: Sight for Sore Eyes - Pony McBride - 08-28-2019
Pony didn't come home until it was late, clearly hoping she would be fast asleep. He only came by to check the house out, he didn't feel like he wanted to stay. Not yet. He was still angry and upset and wanted his space a little longer. He checked the kitchen to see if she had filled it with food for herself yet.
RE: Sight for Sore Eyes - Karen Calloway - 08-29-2019
There was some food, but only as much as she could carry at the moment. Her kitchen was as clean as a whistle and the old pots and pans hung in a tidy way that spoke of a woman who nested and was a bit too cleanly. It might help to see that she was a bit OCD and perhaps that was why she wanted to try and do things herself, perhaps because of that lack of control factor. She stirred and padded into the house to lie in bed, but saw her brother and sighed.
"We don't have to fight, ye know? I... Don't know how to explain myself to ye in a way that ye don't think I mean ye hurt but I will try. I don't." She paused and poured him a cup of tea, handed it to him the way he liked it, and then moved to the settle to seat herself. "When ye were... with pa... ye had no control over what happened... and that lack of control bothered ye. Sometimes ye do things to try and have something ye can control... Ye... feel in command when ye can get yer audience to buy yer potion, yes? I... am the same way, brother... I feel like I have no control, and it bothers me... and it isn't ye, it's... everything." She paused because she was shaking with the effort not to cry, she was tired of crying.
"Everything is all wrong and I am scared, Pony. I am tryin' ta find things I can control to make it hurt less, to make me have some sense of normal. I... have ta stay busy, always busy busy because it hurts so damn much sometimes I want to die." She swallowed heavily. "It's not alright... Nothing is alright right now and I don't know how to make it better other than what I am doing... taking on the jobs I do, tryin ta take care of meself the best I can... I don't know any other way to cope and I am sorry I made ye feel like I am not letting ye do anythin."
RE: Sight for Sore Eyes - Pony McBride - 08-29-2019
Pony shook his head and stared at the tea, not touching it. "I don't like talking about back then. And you aren't right. That isn't it at all. I don't want control. I just want their money. What happened back then was about them having control and dad having control. I don't want anyone to ever have control over me ever again. And I am not trying to control you. I never did. I am trying to just protect you and give you advice. Obviously, you don't have to take it, but reminding me that you find me controlling is a damned stab in the back. So I don't..w ant to talk about it. I already said you do what you like. I am not telling you what to do anymore. " He frowned more and pushed the tea away. "I just came to check on you anyway. I'm about to go back to the inn to sleep. M- just .. whatever. 'He was going to remind her to make sure she locked up the place since it wasn't safe for a woman to be home alone, but that would be him telling her what to do again.
RE: Sight for Sore Eyes - Karen Calloway - 08-29-2019
"Please. It isn't about YE controlling me, god, why do ye..." she stopped and sighed, cutting her hand through the air, "This is nonsense. Horse shit, all of it." She took the teacup, and threw it in frustration, causing it to shatter on the wall and tea splashing the wall and dribbling to the floor into a puddle. She started walking back and forth as everything finally just blew up and cried out, "God.... damn it," she cursed for the first time in her life in such a way. She had never used the Lord's name in such a way.
She moved to clean up the mess she made, careful with the porcelain. One thing she could never get back that Harold had given her. She knelt to sweep up the small shards that couldn't be picked up. She held the dust pan aloft for a moment, then dropped it and sank to her butt on the floor, her head bowing. Shoulders began to shake violently as sobs of someone who felt very broken at the moment seemed to try and overtake her. "Just... go..." Came words that were almost too quiet, broken up by the little gasps. This was clearly not a tantrum she was throwing, this was the pure, unadulterated and mostly held back grief. She didn't look at him, couldn't, shame washing through her for her lack of control over the chasm of hurt within her. It was like the gaping maw of a deep, dark cave and she was descending into the depths.
Karen managed to pick up the dust pan again and moved to dump the contents into the bin, fingers shaking in such a way that the pan trembled too, face white, eyes starting to look faraway and her knuckles whitening with the effort to keep the pan steady.
RE: Sight for Sore Eyes - Pony McBride - 08-29-2019
"You literally said it was about me controlling and you wanted to be the one in control." Pony said , ignoring her as he frowned. He rolled his eyes and moved down. He didn't say anything else, just used a dish towel to pick up the shards and throw them away. He wanted to tell her to sit but she was already upset because he clearly couldn't say anything right. He didn't even look at her as he went once more to make sure he got up every piece, even nicking his finger in the process but didn't even wince. He just washed up afterwards and headed to the door.