Thus far, the relatives he had met had been … short on notice, but bore a certain resemblance (read: odors that were not notable enough to earn their own ghastly namesakes) to each other.

He was fairly certain he’d be flayed alive if he let these miscreants past the threshold, and he hardly doubted they had the sort of bribes that would make it worth it.

“I have not been informed of any... brothers,” he had another ‘b’ word in mind, but it would do, “of your … standing.”

Was there protocol for ejecting men twice his size and women twice his volume off the front step?