Elijah wilted and slumped forward. "H-how? I already try to put my energy into my work. I have so little else. I do not even have much of a personal life. I promise, father. I am not trying to be difficult. I am so very grateful for your help. I want to pretend these thoughts did not exist and I try to simply let it go and focus my mind on my work. It isn't helping though. And every time I catch myself..I feel worse and worse. "

A small cry came from him, it was so unfair and frustrating. He wiped tears as they had reappeared. "I have already had terrible misfortune in my life I must live with. I do not know why I must be.. cursed is the only word I can find that does justice for the misery that this causes me.."