06-26-2022, 03:39 PM
Color blossomed in a delightful shade of pink across the doctor’s face, and Malachi was enchanted by the sight. The evening sun played ever in his favor, drawing colors into a warm vibrancy that almost made up for the subtle blur around the edges of his sight.
There was no one else that Malachi would have rather been with. No one else he would rather have end his association with this place once and for all, and begin a new life with after.
Hand holding onto his shoulder, Malachi pulled Arthur closer to his side as they walked.
“It was…”
His first time. The edges of that, too, blurred in his memory. A few long moments passed as he considered his answer, and the low tones of his voice came out softer when he did.
“Yes, it was different. Leading up to it, in those moments just before you move, it feels like… you’re floating. No longer in control of yourself, your thoughts, your own body, just following the will of impulse alone.”
The will of something other than himself. Something more powerful. Something that, no matter how distraught he felt, knew how to guide him into what he had to do.
“Once you move, and you’re actively doing it, killing them – there is nothing that could stop you. I don’t know, there’s just a feeling in it that warns you, tells you that you’ve already made this step and there is no coming back from it, no matter what you do, so you have to see it through.”
Malachi worried that he made the entire thing sound rather abysmal, but that was not his point. His steps slowed, until gradually he brought them both to a stop just before the path opened up to the main entrance.
“It was terrifying,” he confessed, staring ahead to the house without seeing much of it at all. “All of that excitement and impulse suddenly crashes. Perhaps right then, or hours after, or… perhaps it won’t happen to you at all. But then you’re just left with that feeling.”
There is no coming back from it, no matter what you do. The world was irrevocably changed. By taking the life and death of someone else into his hands, some part of his own fell away, and all that he could do was hope that no one ever found the missing pieces and punished him for defying the laws of man.
He blinked, and turned to look down at his lover, serious as the grave.
“And it makes you feel like god,” he whispered. “I want that for you.”
There was no one else that Malachi would have rather been with. No one else he would rather have end his association with this place once and for all, and begin a new life with after.
Hand holding onto his shoulder, Malachi pulled Arthur closer to his side as they walked.
“It was…”
His first time. The edges of that, too, blurred in his memory. A few long moments passed as he considered his answer, and the low tones of his voice came out softer when he did.
“Yes, it was different. Leading up to it, in those moments just before you move, it feels like… you’re floating. No longer in control of yourself, your thoughts, your own body, just following the will of impulse alone.”
The will of something other than himself. Something more powerful. Something that, no matter how distraught he felt, knew how to guide him into what he had to do.
“Once you move, and you’re actively doing it, killing them – there is nothing that could stop you. I don’t know, there’s just a feeling in it that warns you, tells you that you’ve already made this step and there is no coming back from it, no matter what you do, so you have to see it through.”
Malachi worried that he made the entire thing sound rather abysmal, but that was not his point. His steps slowed, until gradually he brought them both to a stop just before the path opened up to the main entrance.
“It was terrifying,” he confessed, staring ahead to the house without seeing much of it at all. “All of that excitement and impulse suddenly crashes. Perhaps right then, or hours after, or… perhaps it won’t happen to you at all. But then you’re just left with that feeling.”
There is no coming back from it, no matter what you do. The world was irrevocably changed. By taking the life and death of someone else into his hands, some part of his own fell away, and all that he could do was hope that no one ever found the missing pieces and punished him for defying the laws of man.
He blinked, and turned to look down at his lover, serious as the grave.
“And it makes you feel like god,” he whispered. “I want that for you.”
