+- By Wit & Whitby (https://bywitandwhitby.rpginitiative.com)
+-- Forum: In Character (https://bywitandwhitby.rpginitiative.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=35)
+--- Forum: Elsewhere (https://bywitandwhitby.rpginitiative.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=13)
+---- Forum: Memories and Introspection (https://bywitandwhitby.rpginitiative.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=19)
+---- Thread: [Complete] [CW] Running out of time (/showthread.php?tid=183)
RE: Running out of time - Elijah Crane - 01-23-2020
Elijah patted his hand as he appreciated what he said, well most of it. "Thank you, but.. It doesn't even matter. I am happy to do my job. Sure I wish I could meet someone, doesn't everybody? But I feel what I do is important. I'm not as brave as you when it comes to this."
He looked a little hurt and crossed his arms staring at his feet. "I've not been exactly fake. I never once even pretended to be interested in a woman. I decided long ago I could be happy just being single. And I am as happy as I can be, things considered. " Maybe he was also just too afraid to try and get exposed. He'd lose his job and have to leave town right? Everything would go to hell, and for what? The tiniest possibility he'd have a boyfriend that would probably not last long since he was nice but that wasn't everything.
RE: Running out of time - Jack - 01-23-2020
When Elijah pulled back his arm to cross his arms, Simon realized he had probably said the wrong thing. He listened with a frown. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say... I suppose if you feel that it works, that's good...." He took a sip of his beer and stared at the coals glowing in the fire. "I know I could never stay here, because all the people who care about me here... they don't even know who I am. I feel like a stranger." He turned back to Elijah. "So I thought.... if that is the case, well, then what does it matter what you do with that secret part of your life. They'd be appalled anyway."
RE: Running out of time - Elijah Crane - 01-23-2020
"I'm.. sorry you felt like that.." Elijah said quietly as tears fell down his face. It wasn't about how Simon felt, not completely. It was his other words that stabbed at him. He had a broken expression.
"Can I share a secret?" He spoke softly almost hoping Simon didn't hear. What would he even think of him? He didn't wait for a response before letting out a dark feeling he tried to keep hidden inside. "I don't..wear these gloves just to hide my scars from others. I hide them from myself too. If I'd gotten them any other way, maybe.. maybe I w-wouldn't have cared so much. But they are a shame to me. They remind me how weak I was and..still feel like I am. This part of me is a shame too. I can't change who I am and..i don't want to pretend that I'm not or something else. So I just.. hide it." He put his hands to his face as he keeled over wishing to disappear. He shouldn't have ever said it to anyone but it came out and he only could hide again and not see what he was sure was disgust from the other man.
RE: Running out of time - Jack - 01-23-2020
Simon was surprised and a bit uncomfortable when Elijah began to cry. His frown deepened as the man spoke. Finally, Simon wrapped an arm around him. "Elijah... you were a little boy in a house fire. What on earth is shameful about that?" He did not understand what Elijah was talking about.
RE: Running out of time - Elijah Crane - 01-23-2020
Elijah sniffed and shook his head. "Things aren't always logical. I can't help but feel the failure. They were right there and I was helpless. Being unable to do anything is a very shameful feeling for me. That's why I always want to try. Even when it is pointless." He shook his head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. You're trying to be nice and caring to me."
RE: Running out of time - Jack - 01-23-2020
"I'm sorry..." Simon said quietly. He put his beer down on the table, for it somehow seemed inappropriate to hold it while the other arm was wrapped around Elijah's shoulder for comfort. "I never really thought of that. It must have been so hard to lose yer parents in that way, and be unable to stop it. But Elijah, you are a good person. You've helped so many people. I don't know why this... thing... should affect you... Nor why it should affect me, or anyone else. I don't know. But if there's anyone who has now't to be ashamed of it's you."
RE: Running out of time - Elijah Crane - 01-23-2020
Elijah shook his head, he didn't want people to feel bad for him either. It felt undeserved. He shook his head and patted his hand. "You're too kind, Simon. I wish things were different in lots of ways. But I'm glad I'm doing this and helping you get to York. Please, live happily. I don't know if I'll... ever change. But it makes me feel better to know you can."
RE: Running out of time - Jack - 01-23-2020
Simon still looked ill at ease. "It pains me to see you like this, Elijah. You deserve better..."
RE: Running out of time - Elijah Crane - 01-23-2020
Elijah smiled sadly at Simon. "Well, I guess as long as I live anything is possible right? Maybe someone will come along who can make me take that chance. I just won't hold my breath."
RE: Running out of time - Jack - 01-23-2020
"I hope so," Simon said, rubbing his back. "Or that either way, you'll be happy."