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+---- Thread: Ugh, aglow? (/showthread.php?tid=1020)
RE: Ugh, aglow? - Pearl Blacke - 10-30-2024
She took in the reassurance and squeezed back. "What of you? How have you been?"
RE: Ugh, aglow? - Rose Willaby - 11-01-2024
"Oh, well..." Her grip loosened a little. She hadn't expected to be asked about it so soon, especially with all that was going on in Pearl's life. "You know how it is, settling into this new life still. I used to be busy morning to night, both as a fish lass and a maid. It takes some time I suppose, getting used to just work around t' home. Of course, I go home to help Anne." And to not die of loneliness.
RE: Ugh, aglow? - Pearl Blacke - 11-02-2024
She understood the part about working around the house. As they walked toward the Blacke abode, she murmured, "I quite enjoy having work to do. People tend to think being wealthy creates happiness. I think happiness comes when you find a purpose in life. Perhaps that is something to ponder about." She said that more to herself. "I hope you are not unhappy. You deserve to be happy."
RE: Ugh, aglow? - Rose Willaby - 11-03-2024
She did ponder about it. Mostly late at night when she couldn't sleep and she felt the slight of Andrew's distance. Or when she woke, and Andrew was already gone and an empty house and empty day awaited her.
While she had been working for Mr. Meijer, all her mind had been on escaping that miserable life. Even before that, she supposed, most of her life had been spent dreaming of a different life. When Andrew had proposed to her, it had felt that she had found the purpose of her life at last. But now her life felt emptier than ever. The chores around the house were meaningless and unseen. Helping her family without taking their resources ought to feel purposeful, but she felt more alienated from them than ever. And now that Andrew kept his distance there was not even the hope of motherhood, which she had dreaded at first. At least while she had worked for Mr. Meijer, she could dream of a different life. She had always known it to be temporary. Marriage was for life.
She slowed her pace. "Pearl..." she started quietly. "I don't want to cast a shadow on yer marriage and yer pregnancy. Ye ought to be happy and focus on that. And I ought to celebrate with ye. But... perhaps ye can give me advice on 'ow ye do it. 'ow you keep Joe happy. I've been a bad wife and now Andrew hates me, and I don't know how to fix it." She could feel her heart beating in her throat. Her breathing was unsteady. But for now, she managed to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.
RE: Ugh, aglow? - Pearl Blacke - 11-06-2024
"I am sure if you asked all of the women back there in the market, they'd all warn you off of keeping my company. But the truth if it is that I don't know what I am going to do in the future, but I can certainly do something now. One thing I can say is that Joe has been the best of joys for me and I feel as if I don't deserve his love at times... But he loves me anyway and I feel very lucky he found me, and we work best together but not apart." She looked to her friend. This was probably the first time there was a conversation about this stuff with Rose, a really meaningful one.
RE: Ugh, aglow? - Rose Willaby - 11-06-2024
Rose had come to a halt completely. She thought on Pearl's words. "I suppose I haven't worked with Andrew. I..." her cheeks coloured. "I wanted to avoid gettin' pregnant too soon. And now 'e holds it against me." She felt dizzy.
RE: Ugh, aglow? - Pearl Blacke - 11-07-2024
"What if he doesn't and there is something else going on," she suggested. "I have noticed very much so that my father and mother are shining examples of how not to be married. My father treats mother horribly and she does it right back to him. Some of the things I have heard them scream at one another, especially when in regards to me. 'Are you going to tell her the truth or shall I?'"
Pearl sighed and then looked at Rose, "Perhaps you both ought to talk to each other and start anew. Perhaps things got off on the wrong foot and honesty is best."
RE: Ugh, aglow? - Rose Willaby - 11-07-2024
"Aye..." she said slowly. "I suppose it could be sum't else. I want to talk to 'im, only... 'e scares me. The brooding does. I'm afraid if I but speak..." She remembered all too well the silence, the hard eyes, the tension no one acknowledged but all of them felt. No one wanted to be the one to say the wrong thing or even have the wrong expression. She remembered being terrified she'd drop something during those silences. In the end, Simon would draw him out. "... I'm afraid 'e'll fly into a rage."
RE: Ugh, aglow? - Pearl Blacke - 11-08-2024
"Has he?" She asked softly. "My only good brother broods quite a lot, you know, because his moral compass has things to say." Pearl cast a speculative glance her friend's way and squeezed her hand.
"What would you do if perhaps it was a dalience with somebody else? Would you be able to forgive him?" She did not know just how close to the truth she was, but her father sometimes was said to have bouts of guilt over possible daliences, also not knowing how close to that truth she was either. She only had experience of observation and overhearing things whispered among the servants.
She took a deep breath and then sighed. She supposed she would be a hypocrite if she did not speak to her father... perhaps even her mother. But what would she say?
RE: Ugh, aglow? - Rose Willaby - 11-08-2024
Had he? Rose almost seemed to remember he had. She frowned. But thinking back, she was surprised to find that, no. He had never even yelled at her. There was just the brooding silence that threatened her.
Could it be that he was brooding over something in her own heart and not her failings? But Pearl's suggestion was too much. "Oh no, Andrew would never do that. He's a good man, very responsible and upright!" she quickly defended him. "If he does feel bad... maybe it's because he knows I'm unhappy. Maybe 'e's blamin' 'imself and we are just not talkin' properly." Perhaps she should risk speaking to him properly as Pearl said and tell him how she felt. Ask him what was on his mind.