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+---- Thread: [Complete] [CW] Using a Ladle on a Sinking Ship [Streets, Yards, and Homes] (/showthread.php?tid=261)
Using a Ladle on a Sinking Ship [Streets, Yards, and Homes] - Elijah Crane - 05-11-2020
Elijah had been busy after the wedding and he'd been put in a depressing spot when he hadn't seen Anthony. The man had been upset and as hard as the constable tried to understand, he couldn't. It felt like a secret that should have been obvious. So when the man still wasn't seen when he came home, he didn't try to seek him out. He respected Anthony's privacy and knew the man had a lot going on in his life that he wouldn't share and so Elijah couldn't try to understand or stick his nose into.
So he had gone home and relaxed but after a little while, he couldn't rest. He went out to the bar, but it was only a short time after Anthony and Harry had left, it seemed. That was very unsettling. What he overheard from some of the others in the bar was worse. He clenched his teeth and found himself not interested in a drink.
After going home, and struggling to sleep, he spent the next day looking for Anthony. It was a bust as he hadn't seen him. It made him worried as well as frustrated that he didn't know what to do in this situation. He longed to go to the church and spill everything out to Gabriel as he would listen, but he also couldn't find himself telling that man everything and see the disappointment in his eyes at how far Elijah had fallen. He wondered if he'd even be allowed back into the church, but the man seemed kind enough.
He felt depressed and barely got through the day before he headed home and spent the evening petting his cat, hoping he'd see the man come through the door.
Elijah still hadn't figured out what he'd say when he did.
RE: Using a Ladle on a Sinking Ship - Anthony Rowe - 05-11-2020
Anthony had been consciously avoiding Elijah for some time, now. It was kind of ironic in a weird way — when their relationship had only just started, he was the one to preach about how communicating is so necessary and good and the like, and yet now he was the one avoiding actually talking and communicating with Elijah at all costs. Anthony tried very hard to find the irony kind of funny or something, but really, he just felt like it was kind of sad.
It was that exact thought that made him think about whether he should just try and put that petty anger he felt aside for a moment, and try and talk. It didn't seem very realistic. This was kind of different from those non-arguments they had when they first started off. Sober-minded as he was, Anthony kept telling himself that there's no way he's going to actually just go out to his house and talk or something. He was absolutely too much of a pussy to consider that.
Which is exactly why he turned to the bottle, again. Not to drown his sorrows in or anything, this time, but rather to give him some of that goddamn courage to go out there. It worked, kind of. He didn't get drunk, per se — there was just the comfortable buzz and all the courage without the vomiting and crying that happens when he's actually drunk.
He didn't pay much attention to the actual experience of going to the guy's house. He pushed the door open before regret or doubt would set in.
RE: Using a Ladle on a Sinking Ship - Elijah Crane - 05-13-2020
Elijah slightly jumped at the door opening so quickly. He looked up at Anthony and slowly rose. He was between happy to see him and anxious after their last meeting. He rubbed his hands together nervously and looked down, trying to find the words to say. As much as he thought about this and how it should go, he never settled on what felt right.
"Welcome back.. " He could smell the alcohol. While the other man seemed steady on his feet, he couldn't tell just yet how much he had. Sadly, he couldn't say he was surprised.
"It's... " good to see him? He cared about him and wanted to help him and be there, but this guy seemed to push him away so often. He wasn't sure if that's even what Anthony wanted to hear. Elijah honestly didn't know what he wanted.
"Welcome back..' He repeated.
RE: Using a Ladle on a Sinking Ship - Anthony Rowe - 05-13-2020
Anthony closed the door behind him. He almost immediately began to regret coming here. Really, he should've just stayed home. Doesn't matter. He's here now, and basically already past the point of no return. He can't just...go back home, or anything. Not right now.
"Hey," he greeted Elijah after a moment of silence between them. Anthony stood in place aloofly, and began to fidget with his hands, unsure of what else to do with them.
"It's...nice to see you." Was it? It kind of was, and kind of wasn't. He didn't really know. But he also wasn't sure at all about what he should say or do, so he just chose the safest option. Or, well, what he thought was the safest option.
RE: Using a Ladle on a Sinking Ship - Elijah Crane - 05-14-2020
Elijah wasn't certain what to say, he wasn't certain of what he felt or what had to be discussed as he didn't want to sound like an uncaring ass. He took a deep breath and nodded. "It's.. good to see you too..."
He gestured towards the sofa, looking at Anthony as he prayed he'd sit. "Please, I want us to talk. I've missed you and i feel I've done some wrong that I honestly don't know. I want to talk about it and have you enlighten me. I won't interrupt and be as honest as you can. I can't grow and be a better person for you if I'm left in the dark."
RE: Using a Ladle on a Sinking Ship - Anthony Rowe - 05-14-2020
Anthony was...very scared. He sat down on the sofa like Elijah implied he should do, and looked at the ground, avoiding the other man's gaze. It was difficult to try and actually...talk about everything. Difficult to try and put what he was feeling and thinking into words.
He started anxiously picking at the skin near his nails, as he tried to form at least one coherent thought. "I, just– I don't know. Sometimes I just feel like you...don't really care about me?" he said very vaguely, and shrugged. He didn't know how to explain everything, and that frustrated and irritated him even more.
RE: Using a Ladle on a Sinking Ship - Elijah Crane - 05-14-2020
Elijah wanted to take his hands to keep him from picking at his skin, but he didn't want to put Anthony more on edge than he clearly was. He had been prepared to just listen but the first thing he said cut like a knife. His eyes widened and the pain was clear. He wanted to ask for an explanation. How could he think he didn't care? Elijah wanted to protect his boyfriend, and help him progress past the trouble he'd had since they met, he wanted to listen to him and understand. He wanted to help him, for God's sake! Yet, it seemed he was always finding himself in a dead end when it came to getting closer or better understanding this man he'd found himself with.
His eyes fell to his hands and he curled his fingers together uneasily. "O-oh? is that.... I mean.. I am sorry you feel that way. I can promise you, I do care."
RE: Using a Ladle on a Sinking Ship - Anthony Rowe - 05-14-2020
Anthony felt awkward. The more time had passed, the more he felt like he should have never even come here. He didn't look at Elijah, but he could already just sense the disappointment from him.
"That's..." relieving, to hear him actually say that he cares? Hard to believe? He didn't really know what it was. "..thank you? That's...good." Why couldn't it just be easy for them to talk to eachother. Why did it always have to be like...this? Couldn't the universe or God or whatever just make it so that everything'll be alright between them, again? "Sorry. Sorry."
RE: Using a Ladle on a Sinking Ship - Elijah Crane - 05-14-2020
The frustration was getting to him. He looked up at Anthony and narrowed his brow. "Why? Why are you sorry? Please, Anthony. You seem to hold so much to yourself, and I can understand that some things may be hard to speak of. But you will not tell me anything, and then you act.. insulted that I said or did something you didn't agree with. You won't even attempt to explain what I've done to wrong you." He raked his fingers through his hair as he was starting to believe this man was brought before him by the Devil to give him a taste of hell before he died.
RE: Using a Ladle on a Sinking Ship - Anthony Rowe - 05-14-2020
Anthony furrowed his brows. He wasn't sure whether he was incredibly pissed or incredibly scared. Probably both. He sucked in his breath and gathered up all his courage, and turned his head to look at Elijah. "You just– you don't care. Every– every time I do actually try to tell you something or explain something, you just– just brush it off." The thought was most likely just born out of his current anger, but he was starting to slowly regret ever even getting in this relationship.