Chéri heard words and heard intentions. The intentions were good, the words pointless. If they suddenly shifted their act, Darius would actually start to believe they were pretending. And that was counterproductive. No, they weren’t going to do that. “I am sorry,” they said again, instead, covering their mouth, as if overwhelmed. Darius shook his head. Of course, accepting compliments would have been too much. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t want more. “But… that is how I feel..” they said, their voice becoming small again as if they were let down by the fact that he didn't believe their very sincere feelings.

Chéri lowered their eyes at the answer “I want you to kiss me. Is it so absurd to believe that I, too, wish for someone and want and desire? I know I played the object of desire act. I know. It looks good on me, it gets me far, but I too have a heart, a body, and a head filled with images of what would feel good. And beautiful. And I can’t stop thinking just… how warm your lips must feel. You are so good at… seeing me. Not just looking at me. It feels good. It feels close. I am not used to that,” they totally were. They had said these words many many times before, but they worked, so why not use them again? Chéri wasn’t one for words, but they knew their part. This part required them.

“I apologise, I shouldn’t have asked. I said too much” It was now time for reticence. Like waltz, one forward, one back, turn. “I just wish… I wish you could believe me…” they bit their lower lip, making it redder by the reaction. “But I know it is hard,” maybe Darius enjoyed self-pitying when others did it too.

Darius didn't think deeply about the words. He didn't study them or try to find anything insincere, because Darius was caught in the moment and was completely focused on cheering Calliope up. "You honestly don't need to apologize, your feelings are fine. Don't feel bad for what you feel."

He frowned worriedly. "Not at all! I don't mean to have you think that! You are wonderful, Calliope. Don't think that there's anything wrong with it. I just.. meant you could..' His words died because then it would sound like he was telling them they had bad taste or were wrong. "I certainly find nothing wrong with that and it isn't disgusting.'

They didn't believe him. Yes, he didn't believe that they could want to kiss him, but he couldn't argue with this reaction. He placed his hands on their shoulders and drew them into a hug. "Of course not. Please always feel free to tell me how you feel. And I.. I do believe you!" He placed his lips to theirs quickly and immediately after starting, that uncertainty and realizing what he was doing hit him and he wanted to pull away. Instead, he made sure he didn't hold them too tightly they could easily pull away. Maybe slap him for this. He certainly felt like he was doing everything wrong if he should be doing it at all. This was his perfect model, not someone for someone like him to be touching.

No wonder Sonia was having such troubles getting what she wanted from Darius. The man was so concentrated on unironic self deprecation, Chéri was surprised he found time for anything else at all. Which meant they had to do the opposite. A small, relieved smile expanded on their lips. And oh, how warm they could look when they smiled, how joyful. With that sort of smile, it was hard not to believe one was making a difference. And Chéri had all the interest to make Darius believe that.

“Wonderful,” the repeated softly “beautiful, graceful… you are so generous with me” by stating things everyone can see, they mentally added, but it was fine. Compliments didn’t impress them anyway. “I could,” they repeated “but I don’t. And you know…” they got closer, their breath getting shorter “you can’t tell your heart what to feel,” they were working more with their body right now, but that wouldn’t fly with Darius. Been there, done that. It had been ticked and there was no coming back.

Finally, the hug came. All this work for a hug, Chéri thought to themselves. My, what will they have to do to convince him to get out of his clothes. It was going to be a long one, this one. Chéri kissed back as if they had never kissed somebody of their own volition, as if kissing Darius was liberating and enlightening and sweet. The kept repeating themselves those were the feelings. Chéri surrounded his shoulders with both their arms and pulled themselves against his body, showing for a moment how strong and hard their every muscle was, despite their petite frame. Strong and petite. That was their brand and they were proud of it. Now, to snogging, Darius would need to get used to that. The kiss had to tast like hope.

Relief came to Darius when Calliope granted him a smile. He nodded in agreement, "yes you are all those things. I am happy to do what I can to please you. And yes you..." He stopped talking noticing how they acted as they moved closer to him and the way they were breathing. He almost stood straight up, but he'd already given in to please them.

They kissed him back, which was hopeful that he wasn't failing miserably. Then they were holding him tight with strong arms. That was nice, but still.. He wanted to pull away and tell them they were too good to give in to something like this. But he didn't want to hurt them, and he didn't consider what could go wrong. He held Calliope close and held the kiss trying to act more confident but it made him alert to anything that seemed like it was wrong so he could pull back instantly.

“Are you?” Chéri asked, whispering “Happy, I mean. Are you happy when I am close?” no he wasn’t, he was nervous, but they needed a bit of self reflection on his part if they wanted any hope of actually getting results.

“You kiss so well,” they said, with surprise in their voice, as they repeated the kisses over and over, as if they were hungry. Darius was average, to be honest, but Chéri had expected worse, especially when he was so tensed. Maybe he was even good when he wasn’t that nervous. Not good enough to impress Sonia, though. “I feel so safe in your arms, like I no longer need to fight,” they weren’t going to tell him he was a good protector and they’d better stick to what was realistic and their own impression. Chéri choose to become sweeter, loosening her muscles, as if she was gradually letting the tension go. It was going to be a long snogging session. Better than talking, though.

"Of course.." Darius said quickly. And he was, within reason. This was too close. His muses were to be looked upon like on a pedestal and treated like the living art. They were not meant to be touched, not by him. Why was Sonia and Calliope breaking this unspoken rule? He wanted to please them, but this also felt wrong.

He was familiar with this feeling though, that something wasn't right. That if he spent a moment to really think about it, it would be obvious and he could decide to stop and expose it or just walk away. Whatever was ahead of him wasn't good. It was the same feeling he'd had with Chris. That had the man pause even as he was being kissed repeatedly by his beautiful model. He thought about the past and the feelings he'd had as warped as they were. Even as he nodded along to whatever it was Calliope was telling him. He didn't feel the fear he had when he'd been around Chris, but even the fear didn't stop him from desiring the man. Why had he told him no when the other had suggested it? Even if it had been in jest. The stone, that's why. He had feared the man was making a joke so he'd have an excuse to punish him. But there were no stones here, and the other's lips were on his even as his mind was running faster than perhaps his legs ever had.

This was a uneasiness he was familiar with, it was even nostalgic. He drew the other close and buried his head into their neck almost lifting them off the floor. He'd missed his chance before but perhaps he could make up for the past? It was a terrible idea that only lead to pain, his head was throwing reason at him but he didn't listen even though he hadn't had enough to drink to use it as an excuse.

"Yes, I want you happy. Just tell me what you want me to do." Chris, I miss you you evil bastard.

[cw: implied violence]

Of course. Was there any other acceptable answer? There wasn’t. Chéri could feel the uneasiness, it was very evident. At the same time, if Darius really hadn’t wanted this, he would have started saying no by now. Chéri didn’t think it the case. They had seen how he had looked, they had felt small movements and sighs that were possibly invisible to everybody else but not to them. They had been surviving on those snippets of desire for a long time. Chéri knew it was there and that they only needed to wait for Darius to break.

Man broke different ways for them, some became enraged, some cried, some let their mind go free and their hands be freer. Darius was the best kind: he searched for more contact, in lieu of intimacy. Chéri smiled to themselves, while they made a small sigh of delight, as they pretty much climbed on Darius. Aaaand words again.

Chéri considered briefly to just get on with it. Again, words really didn’t come easy to them and they disliked using them because they generally weren’t, in their eyes, reliable, but Darius clearly needed a warning. He needed more, actually, and Chéri had half an idea what that might be, but they weren’t going to mess with that. While they didn’t trust words, they trusted their instincts and their instincts set a reasonable boundary for them.

They took their robe off, counting on the fact that the purple spot on their thigh wasn’t currently visible and then said “I want to see you the way you see me. I want to make you feel good. And I want you to show me just how good it feels,” that was the best they could do and as vague as they could, as their standard go to was Let’s fuck and that still felt redundant sometimes. They could be more specific, but they were pretty sure the words had the potential to horrify Darius, much more than the act ever could. Because if there was something dirty about Chéri, was their vocabulary. They started to undo his buttons “Will you let me?” better to ask one extra time with this one.

Darius had felt unease when he held them, like something was going to go horribly wrong any moment. When they had fallen into him and he practically held them up in his arms it had started to feel nice too and comforting and he'd begun to truly believe in what Calliope had said. Then they pulled away and his hands felt empty. He barely lifted his head to watch when they'd undressed and he looked them over. The view would have made a beautiful painting, but there was no brushes or canvas before him.

He was quiet and didn't know how to respond. What was wanted of him? He didn't know how to 'feel good' or show them. What if he did things wrong? He'd lose his muse and this moment already was eating at him as he wanted to step back and study it and what he should be feeling and what he was really feeling. It was all too alien and a lot at once. But he was certain he didn't want them storming out of his room dissatisfied and annoyed at him.

His shoulders slumped and he reached out, but didn't grab them before. As their fingers worked at his buttons, his fingers delicately touched their arms and up to their shoulders as delicate as if they would collapse at any touch. "Please.."He said softly almost begging in a sad tone. "Just tell me what to do. Use me." That's what they wanted, right?